How Conversations in a Child's Home Shape a Child

"The most influential of all educational factors

is the conversation in a child's home."

I shared this quote by William Temple at the Hands-On Parents while Earning or H.O.P.E. Summit last Saturday, wherein I was the main speaker and facilitator.

I shared that one of my ways of being a hands-on mom to my kids is choosing to homeschool them. But I also believe that homeschooling is not for everyone.

You may not choose to homeschool your child. But you can definitely influence the conversations that your child is exposed to. That is one way of being a hands-on parent.

One of the reasons I chose to stay home full time with my children is because I want to have a lot of conversations with them. I also want to monitor and influence the kind of conversations my children would be exposed to.

The kind of conversations that a child engages in or hears at home and even outside the home will shape the child’s mind, heart and soul.

Let me share with you some of the topics that were the subject of my recent conversations with my kids.

Yesterday morning, while having breakfast with my 3-year-old son, we talked about Moses and the parting of the Red Sea. We've read this Bible story countless times and we have done a lot of activities related to it. This story made a positive impact in his young mind and heart. He actually loves pretending to be Moses (complete with costume and staff in hand).

My 3-year-old son during breakfast with him the other day.

The other day, during my conversation with my 3-year-old son, he said that it's good that it rained because plants need water, air and sunlight. That same day, he answered my question correctly when I asked him if he knows who the Bread of Life is or the Bread that came down from heaven. He immediately answered, "Jesus!"


That same day also, my eldest son who is 6 years old, my second son who is 3 and I talked about the books of the Bible. We also talked about trusting God's Word. This was inspired by the story where Jesus asked Peter to step out of the boat and walk on the water.

During breakfast with my eldest one morning, he talked about the rain and how it goes to the dams and goes to the pipes that households get water from. He kept talking about the importance of rain to help maintain the water supply of households. This conversation was triggered by the scheduled water interruption in our area and by the preparations that we made for this (filling up our water containers with water).

The people that your child converses with are powerful influencers. Thus, the quality of conversations that a child is exposed to is a big factor in the formation of a child.

It would be good to ask yourself who it is that your child converses most of the time when he is at home. Is it you? Is it your maid or yaya/nanny? What is the usual topic of their conversations?

I noticed that when my children and maids converse, the maids usually tell stories about the showbiz personalities they watch on tv or movies. They talk about the shows they have seen. They teach my kids the popular songs they like to listen to. These are not necessarily bad but I do not like my kids to be hearing about pop culture all day long. There are also concepts and topics that I would rather my kids learn first instead of these unnecesary information.

That is why I make sure my children spend more time with me and converse with me longer. I also suggest the kind of music they can listen to or songs they can teach my kids to sing. I provide them with books that they can read to my kids while I am working or doing something else. These books serve as spring board to better conversations between my children and our maids.

Now, let me enumerate some of the advantages of having frequent and quality conversations with your child.

1. You provide adequate mental stimulation to the child. Children are always learning. Even simple conversations with them are learning moments for them. They are like sponges when they are young. That is why it is recommended that caregivers talk to babies even before they learn to speak. And once children learn to speak, engage them in conversations so they could practice articulating their thoughts.

This is particularly important in our family because I have a gifted child and a potentially gifted younger child. Since my eldest son is gifted, he usually likes to talk about things or topics that are not the usual subject of conversations for kids his age. If I put him in a traditional or even in a progressive school where he is forced to interact with kids his age, these kids might not be able to discuss the topics he likes to discuss with them because his intelligence is already at a higher level even though he is only 6. 

For example, he likes classical music and he talks about the music of the masters (Bach, Beethhoven, Mozart) a lot. If I let him converse with kids his age or our maids only, the amount of mental stimulation that he needs would not be satisfied. So, I make sure that I get to talk to him about his interests and that I find other people he can talk to about these things. 

My 6-year-old playing the piano as soon as he woke up
even though he had a fever.

2. Your conversations with your child gives him an idea of what he can discuss with you or what topics he can bring up with you. You also fuel your child's curiosity and thirst for knowledge or learning. I do my best to maintain very open lines of communication with my children. I let them reason out with me and I do my best to explain things to them. We talk about almost anything that they want to talk about. That is one of the advantages of being home with them. When they have a question, they can come up to me right away and ask me about it. I can also pause from what I'm doing (most of the time) to answer their questions.    

The conversation I shared earlier about our faith is an example. By discussing these topics in our daily conversations, I'm communicatiung to them that they can talk about their faith anytime. It's not something that they can talk about only on Sundays or when they are in prayer meetings or in retreats. I love that this is the kind of culture that we are building and experiencing in our family because I want my kids to know that our faith should be lived out in every area of our life.

When my children ask questions, I do my best to answer them to the best of my ability. Sometimes, I research or look things up so I can get back to them with adequate answers. When you leave your kids in the company of maids or yaya/nanny most of the time, their questions might not be answered to their satisfaction or not at all. Some maids or yayas/nannies do not have the patience and knowledge to answer the questions of the children entrusted to them. 

3. You can build your child's self esteem through your conversations with him. I read somewhere that the way you talk to your child will become his inner voice. You can use your conversations with your child to make him believe in himself or his capabilities more.

One of the main messages I like to communicate to my sons everyday is that they can do whatever they set their minds on. I let them explore beyond what is typically expected for their biological ages. I don't want them to be limited by what was considered the norm.

For example, I let my 3-year-old play with puzzles that are recommended for kids double his age. I encourage him with my words that he can try if he wants to. We also let him play piano in a real keyboard.

We do the same with our eldest son who is a piano prodigy. We encourage him to play the pieces or songs he fancies even though these are pieces that are usually played by piano students much older than him or by adults already. We encourage him to try and learn. The amazing thing is he is able to do things way beyond what is expected of someone his age. This gives him greater confidence to keep trying new things even when he hears other people say that these pieces or songs are difficult. He doesn't easily give up. 

4. You get to know your child based on your conversations with him. I think this is one of the greatest benefits of having frequent and quality conversations with your child. You get insight into the mind and heart of your child. It has been said that the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Naturally, your child will talk about the things close to his heart or what he thinks about a lot. If you hardly talk to your child, you would not have an idea of his likes and dislikes, what makes him sad or happy from day to day, what his dreams or plans are, what his current concerns are.

I know that my eldest son loves his younger siblings very much because I get to talk to him and in our conversations he tells me that he is learning the songs he is playing in the piano because he wants to play them for his brothers. I know that he loves God and that he has a heart for service because he told me that he is learning to play the songs in the Mass because one day he wants to serve as pianist in the church. I know that it makes him sad when there is no music during Masses and when there are no musicians serving because he whispers to me during Masses that he wished he could play the piano when there is no one to play in church. I know that he has genuine concern for his playmates and friends because one time he prayed and told me that he wished that it wouldn't rain because it was the house blessing of his friend's (our neighbor's) house.

5. Last but not least, your child will pick up or imitate the manner by which the people around him speak. He will imitate the words being used in conversations as well as the manner by which the people around him speak.

I encourage you to take time to observe your child and to listen to him speak and to really pay attention to him as you converse with him. Notice whose influence is evident. Is it your influence or someone else? Are you happy with what you are witnessing or not? In case you're not satisfied, what actions or adjustment are you willing to make?

Investing time in your conversations with your child will surely reap many benefits. But the main benefit your child will get from your regular conversations with him is the knowledge that he is worth your time and attention.

If you want to learn more strategies and tips on how you can be more present in your child's life and have more conversations with him, I invite you to check out my online coaching program called iHOPE. You may read more about this program for parents here.

On Learning New Things for the Ones We Love and Last Call for the H.O.P.E. Summit

My eldest son loves to play the piano. He taught himself to play the piano. He could play by ear once he becomes familiar with a tune or a song. He started doing this when he was 5 years old. Just before his sixth birthday last year, he accomplished his goal of learning how to play the songs usually sang in the daily Masses in our parish. His dream is to one day serve as pianist in our parish so that there will always be music during daily Masses. It makes him sad when there is no musician who can accompany the choir or congregation in the singing of songs.

Aside from playing Mass songs in the piano, he has also learned other songs... classical music, worship songs, nursery songs, the Philippine National Anthem and recently Brahm's lullaby.

He learned how to play nursery songs in the piano even though he was no longer fond of singing these songs because he wanted to teach these songs to his younger brother Mateo who is a toddler. He learned to play the minuet by Bach and Brahm's lullaby because he wanted to play soft music that can lull his baby brother Geordan to sleep.

For my 40th birthday celebration at home, I planned to have a time of prayer and worship with my closest friends. I asked him if he can learn to play a worship song for me so that he can accompany us during the prayer meeting. Days before my party, he started learning it. Then, he played it during the actual celebration. He amazed not just me and his Dad but even our guests!

This boy is consumed with passion in learning the pieces that he needs to learn to accomplish his goals. He sometimes spends hours just tinkering with our piano and watching YouTube videos just to become familiar with the songs he wants to learn. He keeps on trying and practicing until he learns the piece.

This boy is passionate to learn new things because of the people he loves: God, his brothers, his parents.

When I became a mother, I realized that many of the things I used to do and love doing are things that I can no longer do often. One of these things is conducting trainings and workshops. So I searched for other ways to express and practice what I love doing, which is sharing my knowledge and expertise to help people grow and reach their goals and dreams.

I learned new skills also like blogging, publishing, internet marketing, social media management and marketing, running an online business and e-commerce.

I spent countless hours reading as much material as I could lay my hands or eyes on and watching webinars and videos that enable me to learn and grow in these areas.

Just like my eldest son, I was passionate to learn in these areas and to acquire these new skills because of the ones I love... my children and my husband.

I knew that learning these new skills would enable me to spend more time at home with them while still contributing to the family income.

Learning new things is not easy. It's challenging. It can be frustrating sometimes.

But it's also fulfilling especially when you start practicing or using the new skills that you've learned.

I love seeing the look on my eldest son's face whenever he tells me that he has learned a new piece.

He proudly plays his new piece to us and he would do it repeatedly demonstrating his new skill with greater confidence each time. He is so full of joy as he plays the songs that he has mastered for the object of his affections.

I am also filled with joy whenever I learn a new skill and I am able to use it to accomplish tasks faster or I am able to earn through them.

Do you also want to learn new things and acquire new skills so that you can become more hands-on with your children and have more time to bond with them while earning money for your family?

I invite you to JOIN US on August 8 from 8:30 AM to 5:30 PM at the AVR of Teltech Building, Boni Avenue, in Mandaluyong for the Hands-On Parents while Earning or H.O.P.E. Summit. Click here to join the event and to get updates on what to expect. It's a whole day workshop where you can learn new things and skills that can help you to become a better parent and move closer to your financial goals without sacrificing your relationship with your kids.

It will be a day of learning and networking with other parents who have the same goals and who have been successful in their chosen niches.

You can even bring your kids with you since we will have a kids' room during the event. All my kids are coming with me actually.

There will be booths where you can shop for books, toys and other learning materials.

You can win exciting prizes also during our raffle. There are also freebies for all workshop participants!

It's exactly a week to the H.O.P.E. Summit! You can still buy your ticket to attend this life-changing event! Hurry! We only have limited seats because of the capacity of the venue.

REGISTER HERE. 

BUY YOUR TICKET HERE.

See you at the H.O.P.E. Summit on August 8! Together, let's learn new things and grow for the ones we love!

Will You Choose to Give Joy to Your Child?

It's touching how your presence is your baby's main source of joy.

I just stepped out of our bedroom to get my devotional from the altar. I put my baby in his crib before doing so. He cried as soon as he saw me step out of the room even though I told him that I will be back right away. 

As soon as I went back inside and picked him up, he smiled instantly. Then, as I carried and walked with him to my home office, he kept on laughing and giggling as if saying that he was delighted to be carried by me.

Your baby will only be small and needy for around 2 years. After that, your baby will become less dependent on you and would desire (and sometimes insist) to try new things on his own. Your baby will need you less. But while you are your baby's main source of joy, would you choose to give him joy? Would you choose to fill your baby's love tank by being present to him?

I thank God for the grace He has given me to choose to bring joy to my babies' hearts. I thank Him that He has helped me make the decision to prioritize my babies over my career and money. I thank Him for the precious smiles and laughter I have witnessed all because I was present to them while they were still babies. No amount of money or achievement can compare to the priceless experience of being there for my children when I meant the world to them.

If you are a parent or a mom like me and your baby/child's cry tugs at your heart too whenever you need to leave for work, I invite you to the Hands-On Parents while Earning (H.O.P.E.) Summit on August 8, a whole day workshop that can change the course of your family's life. In this workshop, parents will learn hands-on parenting and working smart in the new millennium and how they can marry hands-on parenting with earning for the family.



Being able to work with a lot of flexibility has been one of the biggest blessings I have received in life. I was able to witness all my children’s milestones, personally take care of them and breastfeed them because I am home almost all the time. I am able to shape my children’s character and educate them while pursuing my passions and earning through these passions. I want to share what I have learned through the years to my fellow parents so that they too can spend ample time with their children while contributing to the family income. This is my way of helping families grow and remain intact.


Below are my objectives in organizing this workshop for parents:

• to enable parents to discover their big why in aspiring to be Hands-On Parents while Earning (HOPE).
• to enable parents to come up with a clear and compelling vision for their children and for themselves as parents and as earning individuals.
• to help parents to come up with a list of new habits that they can easily and consistently implement after the workshop so they can be more involved in their children’s lives.
• to help parents discover ways to work smarter so they can free up more time in their schedules to bond with their children.
• to inspire moms and dads to be hands-on even while earning for their families and to learn tips and strategies on how to be successful in their careers/businesses through the stories of the featured moms and dads (guests) in the iHOPE Summit.
• to introduce different earning options for parents while being actively involved in their children’s lives.
• to give parents an opportunity to meet and interact with other parents who also want to become H.O.P.E. (Hands-On Parents while Earning).

I will be the main speaker and facilitator of the workshop. The other speakers in the summit include Martine de Luna, Jomar Hilario and Ginger Arboleda. Martine is a work-at-home advocate, award winning blogger and blog coach. Jomar is the Philippines’ Internet Marketing Guru who teaches individuals how to be virtual professionals and online business owners. Ginger is a serial entrepreneur, business coach and blogger.


Guest panelists who are successful Hands-On Parents while Earning themselves will be part of the summit also. These include Denise Bernardo of Indigobaby, Angeli Del Rosario of The Beadlady, Katrina Ambion of Mommyfide PH, Chef Jonathan Chua of Magsaysay Institute of Hospitality and Culinary Arts  and Jay and Cherry Castillo of Foreclosure Philippines.

The workshop is valued at P3,500 per head at least; but I want to help as many families as I can, so I found a way to make the workshop more affordable to parents. Thus, attendees get a 43% discounted rate even as they pay the regular rate of P2,000 per head. Couples are encouraged to attend together through the couple rate of P3,000 only. Moreover, we will raffle off prizes to couples who will be present during the workshop. Click here to read more details about the summit and to register to this life-changing event.

The H.O.P.E. Summit is co-presented by Full Life Cube Publishing and Events Services, Sun Life Financial and PLDT Home Telpad. Participants of the summit will get a chance to win exciting prizes during the raffle from its sponsors which include Indigobaby, The Beadlady, Mommyfide PH, Bert Lozada Swim School, Gymboree Play and Music Philippines and Halo Philippines. One of the prizes to be raffled off is a free annual membership to Gymboree Play and Music Philippines worth P2,000! Winning this will not only translate into savings but many precious bonding moments for the lucky parent and child. Participants will also receive freebies like P500 gift certificates from Lozada Swim School, copies of Mustard magazine for kids and so much more.   

We will also have a kids' room for parents who want to bring their kids with them. We will raffle off storybooks for the kids who will use our kids' room too.


For updates about the H.O.P.E. Summit, please like and visit https://www.facebook.com/events/419373114931304/.