Free eBook on Career Transitions to Celebrate My Birthday

It has been a while since I last updated this blog. I had been busy working on my goals this year and accomplishing my pending goals last year.

One of the goals I was not able to accomplish last year was to finish one of my books. So, I spent the first few months of this year to finish my manuscript and prepare for my book launch. I'm happy to share with you that my latest book From Career Woman to SAHM, WAHM then Businessmom: Lessons from My Transitions is now available on Amazon! :) I released it this month as my gift to myself. I'm marking my birthday this year with this milestone. I'm also having a FREE BOOK promotion as part of its virtual launch on April 18-19, 2018 as my way of paying it forward and being grateful for the life that I live. One of my mentors, Bo Sanchez, said that after we have become successful, we should now strive for significance. That is helping others to become successful like us. 

I'm passionate about this book project because this was inspired by the many lessons I have learned in my own life and career transitions. I want to help other mothers through this book. I want to help other moms find the courage to step out of their comfort zones into their courage zones. Some moms feel trapped in their full-time jobs and feel that they have no choice but to stay there because they need to help contribute to the family income. With this book, I want them to them that they have options. More importantly, I want them to share with my fellow moms how God has been instrumental in my career decisions and successes.

What sets this book apart from the other books on career transition is that it includes a spiritual perspective. I encourage people to go through career discernment when considering any career changes. Most books just discuss the practical and financial aspects. But because I am a Christian and a Catholic, I shared that I went through career discernment. I also shared the Bible verses that inspired me in my discernment.

I may be an author and career coach, but I cannot separate my being Christian from those roles. My faith is so much a part of each aspect of my life. The truth is that I strive to live out my faith and Christian values in each aspect and role in my life. Thus, I cannot help but mention God and how He has been a big factor in my life events and transitions. 

At one point, I paused and asked myself if I should share the spiritual side of my life and career transitions or should I stick to writing about professional and practical advice on my book. 

I've decided to go all out and share everything. I felt that if I withhold that part of my story, it would be incomplete. I felt that I would not be sharing the entire truth and the whole picture with my readers if I do not mention God and give credit to Him. 

I think that will also set me apart as a career coach and counselor. I'm a Christian career coach and counselor. Thus, I also encourage my clients to consider the spiritual aspects of their concerns and circumstances. 

Let me end this post by sharing traits that I believe mothers should have to be successful in making a career transition.

Top 3 Traits Moms Should Have

First, we need to have faith in God, ourselves and our abilities. I love this verse from 1 Corinthians 2:9: "What no one ever saw or heard, what no one ever thought could happen, is the very thing God prepared for those who love him." Another verse that inspired and encouraged me was Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future full of hope.”

Second, we need to have the courage to act on our dreams and step out of our comfort zone into our courage zone. We need the courage to try new things or do things differently, to think out of the box.

Last but not least, we need the perseverance to keep on keeping on even when we are not yet reaping the fruits of our labor or we do not receive the recognition that we want to get. We will have our own time to shine if we don’t give up.

Virtual Book Launch

I have so much more to share but this is just a blog post. :) You can read more about my story in my book. I invite you to claim your FREE COPY of my latest eBook on April 18 or 19. You can reserve your copy now when you click here.

Join our virtual launch also and get a chance to win exciting prizes.

How do you join?

1. Simply tweet or share on your Facebook account about the free download and the link to the Amazon page of the ebook. 

Example: I just got my #freedownload of the #ebook From Career Woman to SAHM, WAHM then Businessmom! Get your copy  here: http://bit.ly/Career_Transitions

2. Make sure to use the hashtags #transitionsebook #careertransition

3. Tag our Facebook page Hands-On Parents while Earning.

4. Make sure that your post is public, so we can see it.

You can read more details on our event page when you click here.

Do You Want To Earn Through Blogging?

I went to Western Union two weekends ago to collect my payment from Google. One of the ways I earn from home is through blogging. There are many ways to earn through a blog. One of them is through Google Ads. It makes me happy every time I collect payment from Google because it's a form of semi-passive income for me. What used to be a hobby only became an additional income stream.

 

It was not a really big amount; but it was enough to pay for my monthly SSS contribution, my eldest son's Science class and my video editor's professional fee.

 

Would you like to earn through blogging, too? Do you also like to write?

 

I'm excited to share with you that the first H.O.P.E. Summit talk video, How To Be a Hands-On Parent while Earning Through Blogging (or iHOPE through Blogging for short), is now available in our online shop.

 

 

If you missed the first ever H.O.P.E. Summit last year, this is your chance to still learn from the comforts of your own home or wherever you choose to watch and listen to the talk. You can also watch it at your most convenient time and pause it if something urgent comes up or if you want to take down notes.

 

Best of all, it comes with a BONUS printable worksheet to help you act on the lessons shared by our speaker during her talk.

 

Our speaker for this talk is Award-Winning Blogger, Martine de Luna. Martine has positioned herself as an expert in her chosen niche with the help of her blog. She has also become a brand ambassador to various products through it. Because of this, she is able to stay home with her kids, breastfeed her baby and homeschool her son.

 

Would you like to have this kind of lifestyle too? Would you like to be a H.O.P.E. (Hands-On Parent while Earning) like her?

 

Let me share some of the feedback from the workshop participants last year.

 

The workshops participants with some of the speakers.

 

“The lessons are inspiring.” – Ging Jusi, workshop participant

“Since I want to have my own blog, I learned some strategies how I can earn while blogging.” – Jenina Tuazon, workshop participant​

“It gave me inspiration to become the parent that has freedom from corporate work while providing for our family through an entrepreneurial pursuit I am passionate about.” – Dennis Anguluan, one of the dads who attended the H.O.P.E. Summit

 

Continue reading the testimonials about the first H.O.P.E. Summit here.

Hurry! Purchase your copy of the talk now while it's offered at an introductory price of P350 ONLY! Click here to access the talk.

Enjoy learning!

From a 4-Hour Commute to Less Than a Minute

Once upon a time, one of my favorite past times was daydreaming. I would daydream when I'm happy. I would daydream when I'm bored.

I would daydream in school when I think that my teacher is taking too long at a topic that I have already learned or mastered.

I used to daydream a lot after lunch, when my younger brother and I were supposed to be taking our naps. I found it hard to shut my wild imagination during those times. So, I would often indulge myself with daydreaming instead. Sometimes, I daydream with my eyes shut (so I won't get scolded). Sometimes, I would daydream with my eyes open (when my grandmother is no longer looking or when she has already fallen asleep).

When I was already working, I would usually daydream during my commute -- either on my way to work or on my way home.

Do you know what was one of my favorite scenes in my daydreams then?

Being an employer or business owner who had multiple income streams and had plenty of money for travel and shopping for the things that I like!

Today, I'm living out my daydreams in a small scale. I'm not yet a business tycoon but I have started my own businesses. My mentor Bo Sanchez calls them microbusinesses. I don't mind. They are businesses just the same.

I'm also happy to enjoy some freedom to go to places I want to visit without having to ask permission from a boss for a leave or a vacation or without having to wait until weekend or my day off.

During our family vacation in Baguio after Christmas.

I may not have A LOT of money YET like what I have imagined in my daydreams; but I have more than enough for my family's needs and some of our wants. And all these without having to wake up very early every.single.day. to drag myself to endure a long commute to my workplace.

I used to have at least 2 LONG HOURS of commute to my workplace. I was living with my parents then in San Mateo, Rizal. I would first ride a UV Express or FX to Cubao. From Cubao, I would take the MRT to Ayala. If I miss our office shuttle from Makati to Sucat (which usually happened to me), I would take a cab to our head office in Sucat. It was a long, tiring and costly commute! I had to endure long lines to get a ride and after that endure the long ride to my destination.

That was just one way. Those 2 HOURS could stretch to 3 HOURS in the evening or at night because of traffic and difficulty to catch a ride home.

Now, you know why I had so much time to daydream then!

That's why I worked hard also on making my dream come true of one day leaving the rat race and having my own business, working my desired hours and doing the things that I love.

I loved my job then. But I didn't love everything about it and I didn't love that I had to endure those long commutes to and from work. That is also partly the reason why I would rather have an exhausting schedule of out-of-town or out-of-the-country training programs or workshops. When I need to run a workshop, I don't need to report to our main office unless the venue of the workshop is our head office. I would hire a cab from my residence and go straight to the airport. From there, I fly to my destination, take a cab or wait for the hotel service to bring me to my hotel. Sometimes, the travel time to the hotel or to another province by plane is shorter than my daily commute. I also liked that all my travel expenses were shouldered by my employer. But it was still tiring because there were a lot of training programs and workshops I needed to conduct nationwide. Losing my voice due to sore throat was one of my frequent ailments then.

These days, I can go to my work station in less than a minute! Why? Because I work from home and my home office is just a few steps away from my bedroom. I can even work in my bedroom if I want to. I don't do it anymore though. I have decided that my bedroom is mainly for rest.

Do you also want to work from the comforts of your own home office?

Are you currently an employee who also dreams of becoming an employer one day? Do you also suffer from long commute or travel time? Do you daydream too?

I have good news for you!

I'm holding a Mastermind Session on January 30 from 8:30 am to 10:30 am. We'll have breakfast together. My treat! I will be sharing ways on How You Can Skyrocket Your Transition From Employee to Employer. Would that interest you?

This Mastermind Session is worth at least P5,000. This is limited to a maximum of 10 participants only to ensure optimum interaction with me. You can ask me as many questions as our time together would permit. You can ask me to continue my story and learn from my experiences. The great news is you can attend it for FREE. 

Find out the details on how you can secure a FREE SEAT to this transformational Mastermind Session here.

I look forward to swapping stories with you! See you on January 30!

Earn Extra Income While Advocating Hands-On Parenting

I have good news for you at the start of this brand new week! 

But before that, let me share a short story when I was still a first-time mom almost 7 years ago.

When I had my first child, one of my small finance goals is to earn extra income while being a full time mom to our eldest. I started with small goals so that I would feel motivated each month. Since I love to write and I was given the opportunity to contribute to publications, one of my goals then was to write at least 1 art​icle each month and have it published. Then, as I got more used to writing freelance, I made bigger goals for myself and made it two to four articles each month. Earning additional income for our family through one of my favorite hobbies while being a hands-on mom to our eldest child made me happy and fulfilled.

But writing articles can also takes up a lot of time. Our eldest son grew older and he slept less often. Eventually, he outgrew nap time. He's awake most of the time after lunch. Thus, it has become a challenge for me to write articles because I usually did this task while he's asleep.

I also gave birth to two more children so my hands are usually full (figuratively and literally).

Another way by which I earn not from home but outside the home is by giving talks, trainings and workshops. This kind of work pays higher compared to writing but it requires me to be out of the house and to look for someone else to watch over my kids while I am working. Thus, I decided to conduct workshops and trainings less frequently because I want to invest more time building the foundations of my marriage and my relationship with my children.

As my circumstances changed over the years, I searched for new ways to earn from home that did not require a lot of my time or that required me to be away from my kids. Even though I wanted to stay home most of the time with my kids, I also wanted to contribute to the family income because our family has grown bigger. This led me to come up with a digital program or an online coaching program called iHOPE. I decided to use my expertise as HR practitioner and my experiences as a parent to develop a program that will enable me to help other parents to have a richer and stronger relationship with their children. I was happy to come up with a product that enables me to be hands-on with my kids, earn from home and be of help to other parents and families. 

I launched this product on my 40th birthday a few months ago. :) You can read about what moved me to have the courage and confidence to launch it then here in my previous post. 

Today, I want to share with you the opportunity to earn extra income each month through our Hands-On Parent while Earning Affiliate Program. Do you want to earn extra income each month without you doing a lot of work? Is this something that will benefit your family?

If your answer is YES, you need to keep on reading.

 

If you know of parents who may benefit from this program and who are willing to invest in their relationship with their children, I invite you to register to become one of our Affiliates. You can earn a commission every time a person to whom you shared our program to decided to sign up for it or to purchase our product. 

For example, if one of the people you shared our program to through email purchases the iHOPE Coaching Program, you earn a commission. If for example, you promoted the iHOPE Coaching Program in your Facebook Account and one of your friends signed up for it, you earn a commission.

Your commissions accrue and once it reaches the minimum amount for payout each month, you will receive payment from us for helping us spread the word about our life-changing program. 

By doing this, you not only partner with me in encouraging more parents to become hands-on with their kids, you also help me help more families to be stronger. You're helping me help more children to become happier and more parents, fulfilled! Now, while you are advocating hands-on parenting, you earn at the same time. Isn't that great?

You can register to become one of our Affiliates by clicking this link. The details of the Affiliate Program are in the Terms of Use. Just hover your mouse over these words and click that link and you will be taken to the page where you can read all the information about our Hands-On Parent while Earning Affiliate Program.

Should you have any questions about our Affiliate Program, feel free to email me at teresa@handsonparentwhileearning.com with subject Affilliate Program.

You may also read more about the iHOPE Coaching Program here.

I look forward to having you as our fellow Hands-On Parenting advocate and Affiliate!

What is Your Child Most Grateful For?

I came across a Facebook post of a friend and thought that it's an interesting read. Since my eldest son and I are already finished with our homeschool lessons and he was already playing with his toy cars, I thought of asking him at least the first question in case he's in the mood to answer.

He was hesitant to answer the first question at first. Then, he would whisper his answers into my ear. I encouraged him to say them out loud but he just laughed. 

Anyway, he seemed game. So, I proceeded in asking him as many questions as he was willing to answer. I copied and pasted the questions on a Word file and typed in his answers. I wanted to remember his answers to these questions at this time of his life. He's currently six years old.

His answers gave me a lot of insight to what was going on in his mind and more importantly in his heart.

I believe that it was a wonderful way to cap our afternoon after completing our homeschool lessons. But little did I know that his answers to a couple of questions, particularly question number 8, would bring happy tears to my eyes.

As I've mentioned earlier, while he was playing with his toys, I was asking him questions. He was relaxed and in a good mood. I wanted to seize the opportunity to know him more through these questions. I just kept asking and typing answers as he blurts them out.

But there was one question that made me stop and ask him to come near me so I could kiss and embrace him.

It was this question.

"What are you most grateful for?"

Without batting an eyelash or looking anywhere, he said these words while looking at me...

"Being with you!"

Wow! I was speechless. I just felt the tears roll down my cheeks. Then, I drew him close, kissed him and embraced him. I told him, in my broken voice, that his answer made me very happy. I also added that being with him is one of the things I am most grateful for in my life.

Three words. Three powerful but loaded words from a six-year-old. Suddenly, I felt overwhelming joy for making the choices I have made in the past 7 years of my married life. I'm so grateful too that my eldest son appreciates my decision to be present to him and to his brothers, that it makes him happy and grateful, that he likes me to be with him. Wouldn't all parents want to hear that from their children? I think parents would want to hear that from their children regardless of their ages.

He was and still is one of the reasons I have chosen to work from home and to prioritize my Mommy duties over my work duties. I sometimes get frustrated when I don't meet my personal deadlines or when I am not able to do certain things I am passionate about because there are still MANY things that I need to attend to as a wife and as a mom. Yesterday, however, all those frustrations simply melted away. I felt like I was just handed a BIG REWARD that no amount of money can buy. 

I don't know about you but when I became a parent, so many things in my life changed. It was like my life was overhauled. I personally chose to stay home with my kids most of the time. I prioritized spending time with them over spending time with other people including my friends because my kids are still very young. I thought that my true friends would understand my new priorities and if they are parents themselves, the more that they would understand why it is extra challenging to go out of the house with small kids or a baby in tow, especially when you don't have a helper or nanny to help you out and you don't know how to drive.

So my days were mostly spent being with my kids... Attending to their needs, singing to them, listening to their stories and songs, reading to them, teaching them many things, praying with them, playing with them, cuddling with them, eating with them, etc.

Being a hands-on parent is no easy job. It's exhausting especially if you have more than one child to attend to. But it is also very rewarding like what I experienced yesterday. 

I was grateful that I took the time to ask those questions to my child and that I patiently waited for him to answer. I got to know him more. I gained insight into how he sees himself, what makes him happy, what makes him sad, what his dreams and plans are, what he wants to teach other people and many more.

There was another question that he answered that made feel really loved by my son. 

I asked: "If you can help one person today, who will that person be? And what will you do to help that person?"

He answered, "You! I will help you by playing with Geordan. (Geordan is his baby brother.)"

Isn't that sweet? 

Pondering on his answers confirmed what I have read many times in numerous articles and books. Children want our presence more than our presents. I'm glad that yesterday, my eldest son proved that to me to be true. He did not mention any toy I gave him or any play center that we visited. I'm grateful that my son has learnd a valuable lesson from the choices I have consistently made over the years and that is: People are more important than material things. 

Yesterday, I discovered that my son values my presence more than the toys that he likes to have or the places he wants to visit. I'm delighted to know that something as simple as being with a parent can make him happiest and most grateful.

Photo source here.

How about you? Do you know what your child is most grateful for? I encourage you to take some time to ask. You might want to use the same list of questions I used. Who knows, you might also get a very wonderful surprise like what happened to me! Here is the link to the article I was referring to in this post.

If you want to be with your child more often and you are dreaming of working from home or having a home-based business but are not sure how to transition to this kind of lifestyle or what you need to do to make it happen, I can help you through my coaching program called iHOPE. You can read more about it here.

From Vision to Reality: The Hands-On Parents while Earning (HOPE) Summit

It started as an idea... an idea that did not leave my mind until all the relevant details were so clear to me, I could almost touch them.

I believe that this idea was God-inspired for it was well-aligned with my vision and mission in life. The idea was planted in my heart and was rooted in my life purpose.

What started as an idea blossomed into a beautiful vision. The details seemed to jump out of my head and heart in the days that followed. 

Excitement filled my days as I started to pursue this idea and worked towards making my vision a reality. But my days were not always sunny. I was not always hopeful and sure. There were days when clouds of doubt slowed me down or hindered me from moving forward. There were also days that were so dark, I felt like I was running blind. 

What helped me carry on was my certainty of WHAT I want to see turned into reality (MY VISION) and WHYs I want it to happen. Because my reasons for working hard to make it happen is very clear to me, I was fueled with passion even in the most trying circumstances. My WHYs for choosing to pursue this vision and dream enabled me to remain committed all throughout. 

I did not stop believing that it's possible to turn my vision into reality even in the midst of adversity. 

And so it happened. Maybe not exactly as I originally imagined it to be... But the event I imagined unfolded before my eyes almost as I envisioned it to be. 

As Arnold Schwarzenegger once said, "If you want to turn a vision into reality, you have to give 100% and never stop believing in your dream."

Photo source here.

My reasons for wanting this event to happen far outweighed the challenges that came my way. Thus, instead of letting them to become obstacles in my path towards my dream, I used these challenges to push me to work harder to turn my vision into reality. My WHYs were burning fiercely inside my heart and my VISION was so clear, attractive and exciting that I couldn't help but be pulled towards it even on days when my eyes seemed covered with dark clouds.

I love this quote from Steve Jobs.

Photo source here.

Today, I'd like to take time to thank every one who helped me turn this idea, this vision into reality. I'd like to thank the companies and brands who chose to believe in me and my advocacy and chose to support parents who want to be hands-on with their children while earning for their family.

First, I'd like to thank my friends from Sun Life Financial, particularly my advisor/agent Jackie who introduced me to the wonderful people of PLDT. Through the help of Jackie and Eden, PLDT home became the venue sponsor of the first ever Hands-On Parents while Earning or H.O.P.E. Summit. I am honored to have these companies as co-presentors of the H.O.P.E. Summit together with my own company Full Life Cube.   

Second, I'd like to thank JV All Events for sponsoring the photo and video coverage of the HOPE Summit's morning session and giving me a discount for the afternoon session's coverage. I first met their owner when I was planning for my second child's first birthday party.

Third, I'd like to thank my friends and fellow members of the groups I am a part of who chose to be part of the HOPE Summit by being speakers and guest panelists: Martine De Luna of Make It Blissful, Ginger Arboleda of Manila Workshops, Jomar Hilario of Ideas That Prosper, Katrina Ambion of Mommyfide PH, Denise Bernardo of Indigobaby, Angeli Del Rosario of The Beadlady and Cherry and Jay Castillo of Foreclosure Philippines. Thank you to all of you for sharing your wisdom and inspiring stories to the parents present at the HOPE Summit.

Thank you also to Indigobaby and The Beadlady for the items you provided for our raffle.

I also thank Chef Jon Chua for agreeing to be one of our guest panelists and Chef Raquel Chua of Mama Chows for sponsoring our morning snack during the event. Mama Chows has been sponsoring the snacks in my previous events but it was my first time to meet the couple behind this company last weekend.

I also thank my friend Angelo Yaneza of Balai Pandesal for choosing to sponsor the afternoon snacks during the HOPE Summit.

I'd like to thank Arts by Ayerie for providing the lovely keychain and bag tag giveaways during our event.

I'd like to thank the following sponsors for the freebies and gift certificates they provided:

• Bert Lozada Swim School
• Gymboree Play and Music Philippines
• Halo Philippines
• Kids Acts Philippines
• Kindermusik with Teacher Suzette

I also want to thank the companies/brands who chose to support the HOPE Summit through their booth sponsorship, giveaways and raffle items. 

• Filway Marketing
• Fluffy Pwets
• GPG Bulilit Bookstore
• Heart Shapers Videos
• Mom and Milly 
• Moringana by Organica Asia
• OMF Literature
• Shepherd's Voice Publications

All these brands helped me make my vision of having a bazaar of products that support hands-on parenting and family relationships become reality.

Aside from having a bazaar of products and services at the summit, I also envisioned the following:

• a room where kids can wait should they need to go with their parents;
• a breastfeeding area;
• and organized activity for the kids while waiting for their parents.

All these were realized and I'd like to thank PLDT for providing us with an extra room and Ask Sheryl Today for facilitating the arts and crafts session for the kids.

I'd like to thank Smart Parenting Online for being my media partner again for my event. I'm very grateful for their support for all my previous events and I'm honored that they choose to promote my events in their website.

Last but not least, I'd like to thank the parents who went out of their way to attend the HOPE Summit. I was moved when I discovered that some of them are not from Metro Manila and that there was even a parent who came all the way from Mindanao to attend the workshop. Hearing their stories during the small group sharing inspired me as well.

I am amazed at how all these people and brands/companies helped me make the Hands-On Parents while Earning Summit possible! Truly, when we are clear on what we want, we attract into our lives the very ingredients that will make our dreams come true and turn our visions into realities.

I believe that that's what happened to me as I organized the HOPE Summit.

Are you also holding on to a vision? That vision could be your future. Hold it close to your heart and let it fuel your every move.

Let me end this post with this quote:

Photo source here.

Photo credit: All of the HOPE Summit photos (except the group photo) used in this post were taken by Christopher Salgado.

Check out Hands-On Parent while Earning on Facebook for more photos during the HOPE Summit.

How Conversations in a Child's Home Shape a Child

"The most influential of all educational factors

is the conversation in a child's home."

I shared this quote by William Temple at the Hands-On Parents while Earning or H.O.P.E. Summit last Saturday, wherein I was the main speaker and facilitator.

I shared that one of my ways of being a hands-on mom to my kids is choosing to homeschool them. But I also believe that homeschooling is not for everyone.

You may not choose to homeschool your child. But you can definitely influence the conversations that your child is exposed to. That is one way of being a hands-on parent.

One of the reasons I chose to stay home full time with my children is because I want to have a lot of conversations with them. I also want to monitor and influence the kind of conversations my children would be exposed to.

The kind of conversations that a child engages in or hears at home and even outside the home will shape the child’s mind, heart and soul.

Let me share with you some of the topics that were the subject of my recent conversations with my kids.

Yesterday morning, while having breakfast with my 3-year-old son, we talked about Moses and the parting of the Red Sea. We've read this Bible story countless times and we have done a lot of activities related to it. This story made a positive impact in his young mind and heart. He actually loves pretending to be Moses (complete with costume and staff in hand).

My 3-year-old son during breakfast with him the other day.

The other day, during my conversation with my 3-year-old son, he said that it's good that it rained because plants need water, air and sunlight. That same day, he answered my question correctly when I asked him if he knows who the Bread of Life is or the Bread that came down from heaven. He immediately answered, "Jesus!"


That same day also, my eldest son who is 6 years old, my second son who is 3 and I talked about the books of the Bible. We also talked about trusting God's Word. This was inspired by the story where Jesus asked Peter to step out of the boat and walk on the water.

During breakfast with my eldest one morning, he talked about the rain and how it goes to the dams and goes to the pipes that households get water from. He kept talking about the importance of rain to help maintain the water supply of households. This conversation was triggered by the scheduled water interruption in our area and by the preparations that we made for this (filling up our water containers with water).

The people that your child converses with are powerful influencers. Thus, the quality of conversations that a child is exposed to is a big factor in the formation of a child.

It would be good to ask yourself who it is that your child converses most of the time when he is at home. Is it you? Is it your maid or yaya/nanny? What is the usual topic of their conversations?

I noticed that when my children and maids converse, the maids usually tell stories about the showbiz personalities they watch on tv or movies. They talk about the shows they have seen. They teach my kids the popular songs they like to listen to. These are not necessarily bad but I do not like my kids to be hearing about pop culture all day long. There are also concepts and topics that I would rather my kids learn first instead of these unnecesary information.

That is why I make sure my children spend more time with me and converse with me longer. I also suggest the kind of music they can listen to or songs they can teach my kids to sing. I provide them with books that they can read to my kids while I am working or doing something else. These books serve as spring board to better conversations between my children and our maids.

Now, let me enumerate some of the advantages of having frequent and quality conversations with your child.

1. You provide adequate mental stimulation to the child. Children are always learning. Even simple conversations with them are learning moments for them. They are like sponges when they are young. That is why it is recommended that caregivers talk to babies even before they learn to speak. And once children learn to speak, engage them in conversations so they could practice articulating their thoughts.

This is particularly important in our family because I have a gifted child and a potentially gifted younger child. Since my eldest son is gifted, he usually likes to talk about things or topics that are not the usual subject of conversations for kids his age. If I put him in a traditional or even in a progressive school where he is forced to interact with kids his age, these kids might not be able to discuss the topics he likes to discuss with them because his intelligence is already at a higher level even though he is only 6. 

For example, he likes classical music and he talks about the music of the masters (Bach, Beethhoven, Mozart) a lot. If I let him converse with kids his age or our maids only, the amount of mental stimulation that he needs would not be satisfied. So, I make sure that I get to talk to him about his interests and that I find other people he can talk to about these things. 

My 6-year-old playing the piano as soon as he woke up
even though he had a fever.

2. Your conversations with your child gives him an idea of what he can discuss with you or what topics he can bring up with you. You also fuel your child's curiosity and thirst for knowledge or learning. I do my best to maintain very open lines of communication with my children. I let them reason out with me and I do my best to explain things to them. We talk about almost anything that they want to talk about. That is one of the advantages of being home with them. When they have a question, they can come up to me right away and ask me about it. I can also pause from what I'm doing (most of the time) to answer their questions.    

The conversation I shared earlier about our faith is an example. By discussing these topics in our daily conversations, I'm communicatiung to them that they can talk about their faith anytime. It's not something that they can talk about only on Sundays or when they are in prayer meetings or in retreats. I love that this is the kind of culture that we are building and experiencing in our family because I want my kids to know that our faith should be lived out in every area of our life.

When my children ask questions, I do my best to answer them to the best of my ability. Sometimes, I research or look things up so I can get back to them with adequate answers. When you leave your kids in the company of maids or yaya/nanny most of the time, their questions might not be answered to their satisfaction or not at all. Some maids or yayas/nannies do not have the patience and knowledge to answer the questions of the children entrusted to them. 

3. You can build your child's self esteem through your conversations with him. I read somewhere that the way you talk to your child will become his inner voice. You can use your conversations with your child to make him believe in himself or his capabilities more.

One of the main messages I like to communicate to my sons everyday is that they can do whatever they set their minds on. I let them explore beyond what is typically expected for their biological ages. I don't want them to be limited by what was considered the norm.

For example, I let my 3-year-old play with puzzles that are recommended for kids double his age. I encourage him with my words that he can try if he wants to. We also let him play piano in a real keyboard.

We do the same with our eldest son who is a piano prodigy. We encourage him to play the pieces or songs he fancies even though these are pieces that are usually played by piano students much older than him or by adults already. We encourage him to try and learn. The amazing thing is he is able to do things way beyond what is expected of someone his age. This gives him greater confidence to keep trying new things even when he hears other people say that these pieces or songs are difficult. He doesn't easily give up. 

4. You get to know your child based on your conversations with him. I think this is one of the greatest benefits of having frequent and quality conversations with your child. You get insight into the mind and heart of your child. It has been said that the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Naturally, your child will talk about the things close to his heart or what he thinks about a lot. If you hardly talk to your child, you would not have an idea of his likes and dislikes, what makes him sad or happy from day to day, what his dreams or plans are, what his current concerns are.

I know that my eldest son loves his younger siblings very much because I get to talk to him and in our conversations he tells me that he is learning the songs he is playing in the piano because he wants to play them for his brothers. I know that he loves God and that he has a heart for service because he told me that he is learning to play the songs in the Mass because one day he wants to serve as pianist in the church. I know that it makes him sad when there is no music during Masses and when there are no musicians serving because he whispers to me during Masses that he wished he could play the piano when there is no one to play in church. I know that he has genuine concern for his playmates and friends because one time he prayed and told me that he wished that it wouldn't rain because it was the house blessing of his friend's (our neighbor's) house.

5. Last but not least, your child will pick up or imitate the manner by which the people around him speak. He will imitate the words being used in conversations as well as the manner by which the people around him speak.

I encourage you to take time to observe your child and to listen to him speak and to really pay attention to him as you converse with him. Notice whose influence is evident. Is it your influence or someone else? Are you happy with what you are witnessing or not? In case you're not satisfied, what actions or adjustment are you willing to make?

Investing time in your conversations with your child will surely reap many benefits. But the main benefit your child will get from your regular conversations with him is the knowledge that he is worth your time and attention.

If you want to learn more strategies and tips on how you can be more present in your child's life and have more conversations with him, I invite you to check out my online coaching program called iHOPE. You may read more about this program for parents here.