My Mommy is Famous: A Book That Made Me Cry

I was in a bookstore and looking for a certain book that I wanted to buy for my kids. While going through the display of books, I saw this book (My Mommy is Famous) and immediately picked it up. I leafed through the pages quickly to see what it is all about. As soon as I got the gist of the story, I decided not to let it go. Yes, I bought it that day even though it was not part of my plan. I still found and bought the book I really wanted to buy. But I added this gem that I found because the story resonated with me.

When I first read the book to my kids aged 8, 5 and 2, there were parts when I could no longer read well because I could not help but cry. I could very much identify with the mom in the story. The other day, I read it again to my kids before their nap time, along with other books. Still, I could not help but break into tears. Well, not as much as the first time, but my eyes welled up fast just the same.

The book My Mommy is Famous and a calendar with Mama Mary in the cover. Mama Mary is one of my role models on motherhood.

Let me tell you why.

The mom in the story is a hands-on mom to her daughter. She did not get a nanny or yaya for her because she wanted to personally take care of her. She attends to her needs. Towards the end of the story, it was revealed that she left her prestigious and high-paying job to focus on motherhood. Her child, at first, did not understand this. She was wondering why she didn't have a yaya and was even envying her classmates who had nannies. But in the end, she realized that she is one blessed child for her mom chose her over her own career.

That's where I always get emotional. When the mom explains to her child why she doesn't have a yaya and when the child finally understands why and appreciates her mom for all that she does for her.

If you have been following my blog, you would know by now that we have a similar story. I also resigned from my prestigious and high-paying job so I can focus on my family. I made this decision a few months after I got married. When I tendered my resignation, I didn't know that I was already pregnant. Actually, it was also the beginning of February when I did that. Weeks after that, we found out that I was pregnant with our first child. I really felt led to make that decision because I was put on bedrest as soon as my pregnancy was confirmed.

Since then, I did not work outside the home anymore as an employee. I only accepted freelance projects or gigs mainly because I wanted to ensure that majority of my time is spent building our growing family and investing in my relationship with my husband and children. I wanted to build a strong foundation for my family and since we were newly married then and our firstborn was on the way, I concluded that that's the best decision to make.

Fast forward to several years later, I'm still working from home and doing home-based business for the same reasons. My kids are still young and need much attention. I want to be present to them most of the time during their formative years. I want to be part of their childhood memories. I want to take an active role in their values and character formation. I want to be the primary influence in their young and tender lives. I want to give them the best care and education we can afford. That meant I would be the primary caregiver and teacher.

One of my latest photos with my 3 kids, all boys.

I liked how the book helps kids understand the lesson in the story and the love and devotion that the mom has for her child. I liked that it helped me communicate and share with my own kids my own reason for choosing to be a hands-on mom to them. The other day, I also emphasized the advantages of having their own mom take care of them as opposed to having a yaya. We've had our own experience of having helpers at home. Their main job is to do household chores. Then, when I get tired taking care of my kids and when I need to work on my laptop in my home office, I let them watch over the boys while I do my job. But these maids proved to be unreliable even for a short while. I would find them just talking to each other and not really engaged in play with my kids or ignoring the kids.

One time, I was surprised to see my kids already climbing our gate while the two maids were chatting with each other. Good thing that I got curious when my kids' voices got a bit loud. This prompted me to look outside the window of my home office and I saw my boys up on our gate. I rushed downstairs and out into our garage and hurriedly put my boys down. I reprimanded the maids for not keeping the boys safe. Their excuse, the boys would not listen when they told them not to climb. Hello! Those are kids! They do no grasp yet the danger of what they were doing. That is why they need to be supervised by adults. That is why I asked the maids to watch over them because I wanted their eyes on them while my eyes were on my work. Sigh.

After several occasions of these maids not really being responsible either with household chores or with occasional child care, I fired them. Actually, even when we had maids, I still do almost everything for the kids. I feed them, breastfeed them, put them to sleep, read books to them, bathe them, teach them, etc. The maids simply assist in cutting their food, cleaning their toys and in watching over the other kids when I am attending to another.

So, these days, when I need to work and the kids are awake, I simply make them play near me where I could easily glance at them and hear them while they are busy playing. At least now I know that they are truly safe.

I don't know if we will ever find a reliable maid in the future. But one thing I'm sure of is that I love being a hands-on mom to my kids and I think I'm going to stick to this lifestyle as long as God permits. It's not easy, but it's surely rewarding. I think that as my kids grow older, they are beginning to understand and realize the value of my devotion and the sacrifices that I do for them. Maids come and go but I will always be here for them as long as I'm alive. Most of all, nothing can be compared to a mother's love and devotion for her children. I think it's the best kind of love next to God's love for us. Do you agree?

I highly recommend this to moms who have a similar story. Although the mom in the story had great achievements and was famous, I think ordinary moms can relate to her reason for choosing to leave her job to prioritize being a hands-on mother to her child. I'm glad that I found this book by Lampara Books. It's part of the Kuwentong Nanay Series. I plan to check out the other titles in the series, too.

Do you have other recommendations of good books about motherhood that can help us parents teach kids to value what their mothers do for them? Feel free to share with me in the comments. I would love to discover more wonderful books. Reading is one of my favorite bonding activities with my kids who are also bookworms like me.

Give Love on Christmas Day Year 5

My family and I watched the movie Christmas on Division Street yesterday morning after having a pancake breakfast that I prepared at home. It is one of the movies I recommended in one of my previous posts here that families can watch to bond this Christmas season. Yes, we're still in the Christmas season. Today is just the 10th day of Christmas. So, don't take down your Christmas tree and decors yet. Savor the season at least until the Feast of the Epiphany of the visit of the 3 wise men or more popularly known as the 3 Kings.

I read some short reviews about this movie before I included it in my previous blog post. I'm really glad I did that. Moreover, I am glad we watched this movie yesterday. It's a beautiful and touching movie. I could not keep my tears from falling minutes after the movie is over. I felt affirmed that my family and I did the right thing on Christmas day this year. (If you want to watch the movie on YouTube, you'll see the link here.)

We have a Christmas tradition that is already five years old. We first did it in 2012. You can read about the first time we did it and what moved me to suggest it to my husband here.

So, what is this Christmas tradition I am talking about? We give out brown bags to street kids.

This was my eldest when we first started this tradition.

I recently shared in my blog post Birthday Cake for the Birthday Boy that we make sure that we have a cake for Jesus as part of our Christmas feast. Aside from having a birthday cake, we go all out by making loot bags for Him, too. We give these loot bags (brown bags) to Jesus' favorites, the poor around us. We've decided to give it to street kids.

Our 3 wise boys or 3 kings ready to bless street kids! 

This photo was taken last year on the Feast of the Lord's Epiphany.

We've been doing this every year, usually on Christmas day. But there was also a year when we gave out these brown bags on the Feast of Holy Innocents (December 28) when we celebrated the first month of our youngest child. Last year, we got very busy and tired on Christmas day so we gave away brown bags and toys on the Feast of the Lord's Epiphany or 3 Kings with our 3 boys wearing crowns pretending to be the 3 Kings.

Our two Kings, Yanthy ands Mateo, giving away brown bags to street kids last year.

Every year, we usually think that we might not find street kids or a lot on the streets on Christmas day because the DSWD also exert effort to clean up the streets by finding shelter for these kids. But we are often surprised that we still find many homeless people, not just kids, roaming or sleeping on the streets on Christmas day. This makes me sad. I always wish each time that we had packed more brown bags.

Yesterday, after watching the movie which was about homeless people, God moved my heart again to ache for these poor people. I wished to have more resources so my family and I could help more homeless people. But God was quick to affirm me by telling me that my family and I already made a difference to the people we gave brown bags to. We may not reach all the homeless in the Philippines or in the world. But we definitely touched the hearts of those who received what we gave away. And as I write this post, God whispers into my heart that writing about our family tradition and experience can inspire and move others to do the same on Christmas day or any day of the year.

I'm so thankful to God for this beautiful family tradition and meaningful family bonding activity. It's a reminder to our family of the true meaning of Christmas... following the example of Jesus Christ and giving Jesus a gift through the poor around us. One of the priests who celebrated the anticipated Simbang Gabi in our parish asked us this question during his homily. "It's Jesus birthday, right? What is your gift to Jesus this Christmas?" Those were some of our family's gifts to Jesus on His birthday this year. But as we gave these gifts, Jesus gave us more. He gave us joy and inspiration.

Let me end this by sharing these words of Jesus in the Bible:

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40

How to Play a Simple Sight Words Game

One of our learning goals for our second child this year is to help him read more sight words. The other day, I made a simple matching game for him using sight words. He and his older brother loved playing it. This encouraged me to continue using it yesterday but with a new set of sight words and a twist.

Let me share what we did. It's actually very simple so anyone can easily do what we did.

1. First, I typed a number of sight words using Word per page and printed them using bold and big fonts on a bond paper. I typed 4 sight words per page so my son can easily read the words even from afar. You can also print them on cardstock or board and laminate them to make them last longer. I was just experimenting. That's why I used bond paper but I think I will make sturdier versions later.

2. I cut the paper into strips to separate each sight word from the other. 

3. Then, I put some masking tape at the back of each strip of paper.

4. Our first game the other day was match the sight word with a body part. I initially wanted my 4-year-old to stick the strips of paper on his own body parts. But his older brother wanted to play with him so my eldest son volunteered to be part of the game. The boys had fun playing! My younger son enjoyed sticking strips of paper on his big brother. My eldest son had fun playing with his younger brother while helping him learn to read sight words about body parts. This is one of the reasons I love homeschooling. It provides many opportunities for family members to bond, have fun and learn at the same time.

5. The following day, I printed a new set of sight words. I did the same steps I mentioned above (steps 1 to 3). This time, these are sight words for what he usually sees in our home/house.

6. After putting masking tape on the strips of paper, we stuck them first on a wall. 

7. Before starting the matching game, I asked my 4-year-old son to spell and read each word first. Since he could not read them yet, I helped him by sounding out the letters and teaching him how to easily decode them and I read them for him too. After spelling and reading each one, I asked him to turn around before starting the matching game.

8. I asked him to get one strip of paper at random from the wall and stick it to the right object at home. All the sight words I printed yesterday pertained to objects except one. I included the word baby to make it more fun. ;) Mateo already knows how to read and spell the word BABY but I wanted to include it still because I saw how much he enjoyed having his older brother participate in the game. This time, I wanted him to enjoy it with his baby brother. :)

We will be playing with these sight words in the next days until my 4-year-old son masters them. Then, I'll add more sight words as we progress.

What do you think of this game? Will you try it with your child too? Let me know how it goes.

6 Ways to Maximize Your Visit to the Manila International Book Fair (#MIBF2015)

The 36th Manila International Book Fair is here again! Do you have plans to visit the book fair? Book lovers like me usually look forward to this yearly event and mark our calendars so we don't miss it. There are many exciting things that happen every year at this fair: book launches, storyteling sessions, book signing, meet and greet with authors and illustrators, seminras and workshops and BIG discounts from publishers! 

Photo source here.

I love going to the bookstore. The prospect of finding good books to read make my heart beat faster. hahaha Thus, going to the MIBF where there is a sea of books makes me feel ecstatic. ;) 

So, with two days left of the book fair, how do you make the most of your trip to SMX? Let me share some ways based on my previous visits in the past years.

1. Get FREE tickets to the MIBF through the bookstores or publishers who will be exhibitors at the fair. You don't need to spend on tickets. Publishers and bookstores usually give away free tickets either at their branches or you can download from their websites. We got our free tickets this year from Fully Booked BGC. 

For example, you can print this ticket from OMF Lit and present it as your FREE pass.

Here are some links where you can download FREE tickets to MIBF 2015.

Adarna House
CSM Publishing
JesCom
St. Matthew's Publishing

2. Make a list. Make a list of topics where you plan to get new books. Then, check out what books (old and new) you'd like to get for these topics you have in mind. Or if you have book titles already that you are interested to buy, make a list of book titles.

3. Check out publishers for promos and events. Once you already have a list of topics or book titles, I suggest that you check out the websites or social media accounts of the publsihers of these books on your list. That way, you would know if they have promos like discounts or book bundles for the books that you like. You might also find interesting activities related to the books in your list like book launch or book signing, meet and greet with the author or free pass to special events by the publisher for those who will buy copies of their books.

Here's an activity by Scholastic for the Geronimo Stilton series.

Check out my post about Geronimo here.

Here are some examples of promos you might want to avail of.

Source: OMF Lit's Facebook Page.

Here are some book launches you might find interesting.

The official book launch of this book by one of my brothers from CYA
will be on Sunday. Grab a copy if you are a leader! Launch price is P325!

This is the first book of my friend Jomar Hilario.
It will be launched on Sunday together with other new titles
from Shepherd's Voice Publications. Take advantage of its P250 launch price!

4. Get the exact location of the publishers whose booths you want to visit. Get their booth number as well as their location. You can find this at their websites or social media posts also or at teh entrance of SMX where this is usually posted. This helps you plan your route around the book fair. Believe me, if you haven't been to the past MIBFs, you can easily get lost and overwhelmed and forget where you want to go or what you really want to buy. This brings me to my next suggestion.

5. Set your budget. After considering the promos, you need to edit your list of books that you want to buy based on how much you are willing to spend for your visit. It might be difficult to stick to your budget once you are already at the book fair (especially if you are a bookworm like me) but having a budget would at least caution you or remind you not to buy too many books or all the nice books that you will see. What you can do is make a list or mental note of the nice books you'll see and plan when to buy them. Make them part of your next shopping list or wish list for Christmas for example. You can also ask the publishers or sellers if they will have future sales and promos in their stores or branches. This will give you an opportunity to save up for these future promos.  

You can get this discount couplon when you post a photo
of yourself at OMF Lit's booth. 

6. Enjoy the experience of going around the book fair. The place might be crowded especially during weekends but you can still enjoy going around the venue by taking your time to browse through aisles and aisles of books and other educational materials that you will see at the MIBF. 

Saturdate with My Sons and Geronimo Stilton

I got an invite to the launching of the Geronimo Stilton Academy Pawbooks. This is a new workbook series based on the popular series Geronimo Stilton. I was happy to get this invite because my eldest son loves Geronimo Stilton. So, I confirmed with the organizer right away and told her that I'm definitely coming with my eldest son.

I shared this information with my son and told him that attending the launch will be our date. It has been part of my schedule to date each of my sons at least once a month so I can spend one-to-one time with them. My son was also happy to hear the news and he looked forward to our date.

The weather was bad on the day of the launch but we still went to Powerbooks at Greenbelt 4 on August 22. The event was from 3 to 5 PM. We got there a little past 3 PM. 

Our original plan was that while my eldest son and I are having our date at the event, my husband and two younger kids will also have a date nearby, either in the bookstore or they will eat ice cream somewhere. But since we found out that they can also stay, they joined us. So, it was now a family date! 

We got a big bag of Geronimo Stilton products as soon as we registered. The canvass bag we got contained two sets of workbooks: Vocabulary Pawbooks from levels 1 to 3 and Comprehension Pawbooks from levels 1 to 3 also. It also had Geronimo buttonpins and a copy of Mockingjay by New York Times Bestselling Author Suzanne Collins.

The event was already starting when we arrived. They were playing a game wherein the participants need to find words and letters from old newspapers that they can form to match the titles of the books in the Geronimo Stilton Series. My son and I still got to join. We had some fun playing even though we didn't win. 

The other game that was played was ensaymada eating for the parents. The parent who is able to finish his/her ensaimada first wins a set of books from the series also. I didn't win but I enjoyed eating the ensaimada. hahaha 

There was a parenting talk after the games and prizes were raffled off in between the games the talk. We didn't win in the raffle but it's alright because being together at the event was already a win for our family.

Book stamping and picture taking opportunities followed after the talk and raffle. Snacks were also served while people were lined up to have their books stamped and their photos taken with the mascots. Even the snacks were according to the theme. Snacks had cheese on them because Geronimo and his friends love cheese.

While waiting for our turn to have our photos taken with Geronimo and Thea, my husband and younger sons roamed around the bookstore to check out copies of the Geronimo Stilton books. The first copy that our son had was Space Mice. We bought it at a time when he was very interested on outer space. This time, we were looking for the first books in the series. Sadly, there were no copies available. But we discovered that Scholastic sells the books in the series in packs or bundles too. My husband saw a pack for the books from 11 to 20. He discovered that we would save a lot if we buy the books this way instead of buying them per piece. So we asked if they have a pack or bundle for books 1 to 10. The staff we talked to said that this pack was out of stock but she was kind enough to inquire from the other branches. She found out that there is an available stock from SM North Edsa and that she said they can request it to be transferred to their branch and we can buy it from there. We were delighted! We had that pack reserved.

After having snacks and having our books stamped and our photos taken, we checked out other books for my younger son who loves Thomas the Tank Engine. I was looking for Step 1 into Reading books for him with stories about his favorite character Thomas. We didn't find any Level 1 books but we found two Level 2 books. I still bought them since the books are still easy to read for kids his age. Now, everybody is happy.

My eldest son who is 6 years old could not get his hands and eyes on his new workbooks. He wanted to read them even while in our vehicle on our way home. He also wanted to read that night but we said he will have to wait until morning. True enough, he was seen reading these books most of the time in the days that followed.

I told him that we will start answering these workbooks after he's done answering his Grade 2 English Grammar worksheets (the ones we are using in our homeschool). I said this to motivate him to work faster on his worksheets before starting on a new one.

Several days after the launch, I got a text message from the Powerbooks staff that our order is available for pick up at their branch. I informed my husband right away so he can make time to buy it for our son.

Finally, our son got his hands on the much-awaited book bundle last weekend and kept reading book after book in the days that followed. Actually, he said that he already read 5 books in just a single day! I told him that I will check if he understaood the stories by making him answer the workbooks. 

We started using these workbooks last Monday and I am really glad that we discovered these workbooks. My son is happy to read and answer the workbooks because the lessons were based on his favorite character Geronimo Stilton. Of course, when my son is happy to do his lessons, I am also happy because I don't need to force him to answer his workbooks.

When he was much younger, one of his favorite characters was Lighting McQueen from the movie Cars. I also used activity books then which were inspired by this character. He also enjoyed using these books and he was usually eager to answer them. I also bought him flash cards with the Cars theme for he was still a toddler then.

Then, when I had my second child, I used the same strategy but this time I bought materials inspired by Thomas the Tank Engine or anything related to trains, unlike with his older brother which were related to cars.

Are you struggling to get your kids excited to read books or to learn something related to their lessons? I strongly suggest that you find a related material that is based on your child's favorite character or interest. That will surely spark your child's interest. I have been doing this for years now and both of my children are responding well to this strategy.

How will you know which characters interest them?

Here are 2 ways:

1. Ask them. If you are not sure or you have no clue, just ask them. It's that simple. But you will not know unless you make time to ask and wait for their answer.

2. Listen to them tell stories. Kids like to include their favorite characters in their stories. They also like to talk about their favorite characters at least once a day when given the chance. Again, this goes back to my previously shared tip to parents to converse with their children. Make time to listen to them and to encourage them to keep on talking and telling stories to you through your verbal and non-verbal responses.

So, don't let this day pass without you doing any of these two tips I shared! Then, look for something that you and your child can use that is related to his interest!     

Update:

The Stilton siblings will be at the MIBF 2015 (Sunday). Catch them at National Bookstore's booth.

Photo source here.

What is Your Child Most Grateful For?

I came across a Facebook post of a friend and thought that it's an interesting read. Since my eldest son and I are already finished with our homeschool lessons and he was already playing with his toy cars, I thought of asking him at least the first question in case he's in the mood to answer.

He was hesitant to answer the first question at first. Then, he would whisper his answers into my ear. I encouraged him to say them out loud but he just laughed. 

Anyway, he seemed game. So, I proceeded in asking him as many questions as he was willing to answer. I copied and pasted the questions on a Word file and typed in his answers. I wanted to remember his answers to these questions at this time of his life. He's currently six years old.

His answers gave me a lot of insight to what was going on in his mind and more importantly in his heart.

I believe that it was a wonderful way to cap our afternoon after completing our homeschool lessons. But little did I know that his answers to a couple of questions, particularly question number 8, would bring happy tears to my eyes.

As I've mentioned earlier, while he was playing with his toys, I was asking him questions. He was relaxed and in a good mood. I wanted to seize the opportunity to know him more through these questions. I just kept asking and typing answers as he blurts them out.

But there was one question that made me stop and ask him to come near me so I could kiss and embrace him.

It was this question.

"What are you most grateful for?"

Without batting an eyelash or looking anywhere, he said these words while looking at me...

"Being with you!"

Wow! I was speechless. I just felt the tears roll down my cheeks. Then, I drew him close, kissed him and embraced him. I told him, in my broken voice, that his answer made me very happy. I also added that being with him is one of the things I am most grateful for in my life.

Three words. Three powerful but loaded words from a six-year-old. Suddenly, I felt overwhelming joy for making the choices I have made in the past 7 years of my married life. I'm so grateful too that my eldest son appreciates my decision to be present to him and to his brothers, that it makes him happy and grateful, that he likes me to be with him. Wouldn't all parents want to hear that from their children? I think parents would want to hear that from their children regardless of their ages.

He was and still is one of the reasons I have chosen to work from home and to prioritize my Mommy duties over my work duties. I sometimes get frustrated when I don't meet my personal deadlines or when I am not able to do certain things I am passionate about because there are still MANY things that I need to attend to as a wife and as a mom. Yesterday, however, all those frustrations simply melted away. I felt like I was just handed a BIG REWARD that no amount of money can buy. 

I don't know about you but when I became a parent, so many things in my life changed. It was like my life was overhauled. I personally chose to stay home with my kids most of the time. I prioritized spending time with them over spending time with other people including my friends because my kids are still very young. I thought that my true friends would understand my new priorities and if they are parents themselves, the more that they would understand why it is extra challenging to go out of the house with small kids or a baby in tow, especially when you don't have a helper or nanny to help you out and you don't know how to drive.

So my days were mostly spent being with my kids... Attending to their needs, singing to them, listening to their stories and songs, reading to them, teaching them many things, praying with them, playing with them, cuddling with them, eating with them, etc.

Being a hands-on parent is no easy job. It's exhausting especially if you have more than one child to attend to. But it is also very rewarding like what I experienced yesterday. 

I was grateful that I took the time to ask those questions to my child and that I patiently waited for him to answer. I got to know him more. I gained insight into how he sees himself, what makes him happy, what makes him sad, what his dreams and plans are, what he wants to teach other people and many more.

There was another question that he answered that made feel really loved by my son. 

I asked: "If you can help one person today, who will that person be? And what will you do to help that person?"

He answered, "You! I will help you by playing with Geordan. (Geordan is his baby brother.)"

Isn't that sweet? 

Pondering on his answers confirmed what I have read many times in numerous articles and books. Children want our presence more than our presents. I'm glad that yesterday, my eldest son proved that to me to be true. He did not mention any toy I gave him or any play center that we visited. I'm grateful that my son has learnd a valuable lesson from the choices I have consistently made over the years and that is: People are more important than material things. 

Yesterday, I discovered that my son values my presence more than the toys that he likes to have or the places he wants to visit. I'm delighted to know that something as simple as being with a parent can make him happiest and most grateful.

Photo source here.

How about you? Do you know what your child is most grateful for? I encourage you to take some time to ask. You might want to use the same list of questions I used. Who knows, you might also get a very wonderful surprise like what happened to me! Here is the link to the article I was referring to in this post.

If you want to be with your child more often and you are dreaming of working from home or having a home-based business but are not sure how to transition to this kind of lifestyle or what you need to do to make it happen, I can help you through my coaching program called iHOPE. You can read more about it here.

How Conversations in a Child's Home Shape a Child

"The most influential of all educational factors

is the conversation in a child's home."

I shared this quote by William Temple at the Hands-On Parents while Earning or H.O.P.E. Summit last Saturday, wherein I was the main speaker and facilitator.

I shared that one of my ways of being a hands-on mom to my kids is choosing to homeschool them. But I also believe that homeschooling is not for everyone.

You may not choose to homeschool your child. But you can definitely influence the conversations that your child is exposed to. That is one way of being a hands-on parent.

One of the reasons I chose to stay home full time with my children is because I want to have a lot of conversations with them. I also want to monitor and influence the kind of conversations my children would be exposed to.

The kind of conversations that a child engages in or hears at home and even outside the home will shape the child’s mind, heart and soul.

Let me share with you some of the topics that were the subject of my recent conversations with my kids.

Yesterday morning, while having breakfast with my 3-year-old son, we talked about Moses and the parting of the Red Sea. We've read this Bible story countless times and we have done a lot of activities related to it. This story made a positive impact in his young mind and heart. He actually loves pretending to be Moses (complete with costume and staff in hand).

My 3-year-old son during breakfast with him the other day.

The other day, during my conversation with my 3-year-old son, he said that it's good that it rained because plants need water, air and sunlight. That same day, he answered my question correctly when I asked him if he knows who the Bread of Life is or the Bread that came down from heaven. He immediately answered, "Jesus!"


That same day also, my eldest son who is 6 years old, my second son who is 3 and I talked about the books of the Bible. We also talked about trusting God's Word. This was inspired by the story where Jesus asked Peter to step out of the boat and walk on the water.

During breakfast with my eldest one morning, he talked about the rain and how it goes to the dams and goes to the pipes that households get water from. He kept talking about the importance of rain to help maintain the water supply of households. This conversation was triggered by the scheduled water interruption in our area and by the preparations that we made for this (filling up our water containers with water).

The people that your child converses with are powerful influencers. Thus, the quality of conversations that a child is exposed to is a big factor in the formation of a child.

It would be good to ask yourself who it is that your child converses most of the time when he is at home. Is it you? Is it your maid or yaya/nanny? What is the usual topic of their conversations?

I noticed that when my children and maids converse, the maids usually tell stories about the showbiz personalities they watch on tv or movies. They talk about the shows they have seen. They teach my kids the popular songs they like to listen to. These are not necessarily bad but I do not like my kids to be hearing about pop culture all day long. There are also concepts and topics that I would rather my kids learn first instead of these unnecesary information.

That is why I make sure my children spend more time with me and converse with me longer. I also suggest the kind of music they can listen to or songs they can teach my kids to sing. I provide them with books that they can read to my kids while I am working or doing something else. These books serve as spring board to better conversations between my children and our maids.

Now, let me enumerate some of the advantages of having frequent and quality conversations with your child.

1. You provide adequate mental stimulation to the child. Children are always learning. Even simple conversations with them are learning moments for them. They are like sponges when they are young. That is why it is recommended that caregivers talk to babies even before they learn to speak. And once children learn to speak, engage them in conversations so they could practice articulating their thoughts.

This is particularly important in our family because I have a gifted child and a potentially gifted younger child. Since my eldest son is gifted, he usually likes to talk about things or topics that are not the usual subject of conversations for kids his age. If I put him in a traditional or even in a progressive school where he is forced to interact with kids his age, these kids might not be able to discuss the topics he likes to discuss with them because his intelligence is already at a higher level even though he is only 6. 

For example, he likes classical music and he talks about the music of the masters (Bach, Beethhoven, Mozart) a lot. If I let him converse with kids his age or our maids only, the amount of mental stimulation that he needs would not be satisfied. So, I make sure that I get to talk to him about his interests and that I find other people he can talk to about these things. 

My 6-year-old playing the piano as soon as he woke up
even though he had a fever.

2. Your conversations with your child gives him an idea of what he can discuss with you or what topics he can bring up with you. You also fuel your child's curiosity and thirst for knowledge or learning. I do my best to maintain very open lines of communication with my children. I let them reason out with me and I do my best to explain things to them. We talk about almost anything that they want to talk about. That is one of the advantages of being home with them. When they have a question, they can come up to me right away and ask me about it. I can also pause from what I'm doing (most of the time) to answer their questions.    

The conversation I shared earlier about our faith is an example. By discussing these topics in our daily conversations, I'm communicatiung to them that they can talk about their faith anytime. It's not something that they can talk about only on Sundays or when they are in prayer meetings or in retreats. I love that this is the kind of culture that we are building and experiencing in our family because I want my kids to know that our faith should be lived out in every area of our life.

When my children ask questions, I do my best to answer them to the best of my ability. Sometimes, I research or look things up so I can get back to them with adequate answers. When you leave your kids in the company of maids or yaya/nanny most of the time, their questions might not be answered to their satisfaction or not at all. Some maids or yayas/nannies do not have the patience and knowledge to answer the questions of the children entrusted to them. 

3. You can build your child's self esteem through your conversations with him. I read somewhere that the way you talk to your child will become his inner voice. You can use your conversations with your child to make him believe in himself or his capabilities more.

One of the main messages I like to communicate to my sons everyday is that they can do whatever they set their minds on. I let them explore beyond what is typically expected for their biological ages. I don't want them to be limited by what was considered the norm.

For example, I let my 3-year-old play with puzzles that are recommended for kids double his age. I encourage him with my words that he can try if he wants to. We also let him play piano in a real keyboard.

We do the same with our eldest son who is a piano prodigy. We encourage him to play the pieces or songs he fancies even though these are pieces that are usually played by piano students much older than him or by adults already. We encourage him to try and learn. The amazing thing is he is able to do things way beyond what is expected of someone his age. This gives him greater confidence to keep trying new things even when he hears other people say that these pieces or songs are difficult. He doesn't easily give up. 

4. You get to know your child based on your conversations with him. I think this is one of the greatest benefits of having frequent and quality conversations with your child. You get insight into the mind and heart of your child. It has been said that the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Naturally, your child will talk about the things close to his heart or what he thinks about a lot. If you hardly talk to your child, you would not have an idea of his likes and dislikes, what makes him sad or happy from day to day, what his dreams or plans are, what his current concerns are.

I know that my eldest son loves his younger siblings very much because I get to talk to him and in our conversations he tells me that he is learning the songs he is playing in the piano because he wants to play them for his brothers. I know that he loves God and that he has a heart for service because he told me that he is learning to play the songs in the Mass because one day he wants to serve as pianist in the church. I know that it makes him sad when there is no music during Masses and when there are no musicians serving because he whispers to me during Masses that he wished he could play the piano when there is no one to play in church. I know that he has genuine concern for his playmates and friends because one time he prayed and told me that he wished that it wouldn't rain because it was the house blessing of his friend's (our neighbor's) house.

5. Last but not least, your child will pick up or imitate the manner by which the people around him speak. He will imitate the words being used in conversations as well as the manner by which the people around him speak.

I encourage you to take time to observe your child and to listen to him speak and to really pay attention to him as you converse with him. Notice whose influence is evident. Is it your influence or someone else? Are you happy with what you are witnessing or not? In case you're not satisfied, what actions or adjustment are you willing to make?

Investing time in your conversations with your child will surely reap many benefits. But the main benefit your child will get from your regular conversations with him is the knowledge that he is worth your time and attention.

If you want to learn more strategies and tips on how you can be more present in your child's life and have more conversations with him, I invite you to check out my online coaching program called iHOPE. You may read more about this program for parents here.