Lessons (re)Learned at the Start of a Brand New Year About Dreams

It's the first day of the new year. I reviewed my list of dreams in my Novena to God's Love booklet through the years after my morning prayers. After that, I wrote down my dreams for 2016 in my new booklet. 

I had been doing this for years. It was a joy to read the dreams I have written in my previous booklets and the dates when these dreams were fulfilled. I felt so blessed to be reminded of the many dreams God has helped me fulfill just in the past three years. (I'm not sure if I started with this practice earlier than 2013 because I could not find other booklets.) Remembering these blessings gave me so much hope to face this brand new year with joufl anticipation for more dreams coming true and becoming my reality.

While pondering on my list of dreams last year (2015), I (re)learned some lessons about dreams and dreaming. Let me share them with you.

1. Dreams do come true, whether big or small. - I wrote a number of dreams in my Novena booklet. We're supposed to write seven dreams on it only. But in some pages, I wrote multiple dreams. Thus, I am amazed that most of the dreams I wrote on its pages were fulfilled. It's simply amazing! Reviewing them encouraged me to dream new dreams and to just keep on dreaming.

2. Don't just dream. Work hard on your dream too! - It's not enough that we dream dreams. We need to do our part in making them happen. I love the quote which says, "Pray as if all depended on God. Work as if all depended on self."

I remember a funny story I once heard. A speaker said that the first step in making our dreams come true is to wake up from our dream and to do the necessary work.

Many of my fulfilled dreams entailed a lot of work on my part. I made a lot of sacrifices. I put in a lot of work hours. I hustled. I did what was necessary. And my efforts paid off because almost all of the dreams I listed last year came true by the grace of God and with a lot of hard work!

3. There's a perfect time for your dreams to come true. Learn to let go and let God be the God of all your dreams. - As I mentioned earlier, not all of the dreams I listed came true. A few are still in progress. I have started workign on those dreams but the results that I wanted to see and experience have not happened yet. 

What I learned through these dreams is that no matter how hard we work on something, if it is not yet time for these dreams to come true, these dreams would not be fulfilled. God still has the final say. 

I remember another beautiful lesson I learned years ago. A speaker shared that it's not enough that we do God's Will in our lives. We also need to make sure that we do things God's way and that we follow God's perfect timing. Let Ecclesiates 3 remind us of this truth: "God appoints when all things will happen." 

So, if like me, you have dreams that are still on stage 1 or stage 2 and there are still a few or a number of steps that you need to take, don't despair and give in to frustration. Let go and let God be God of those dreams that are yet to come true.

4. Some dreams are more important than others. - Like what I said earlier, I sometimes listed more than one dream per page in my Novena to God's Love booklet. I had so many dreams that I wanted to be fulfilled last year. God taught me to prioritize when He allowed our maids to leave us one after the other. We didn't have a helper for almost half a year. Working on my personal goals and business goals on top of Mommy duties and household chores was extremely challenging. I had to decide which dreams had more weight in my heart. So, I chose to prioritize my dreams and goals related to my role as mother over those dreams and goals related to my roles as author and mompreneur. I'm glad I made that choice! I felt so at peace and fulfilled even though I had to delay my pursuit of those dreams. I believe that I can delay finishing another book. But I wouldn't be truly happy if I keep my kids waiting too long all the time because I'm so busy chasing my other dreams. 

How about you? Do you have dreams that you want to see realized this new year? Do you also make a list just like me? Do you make time to reflect at the start of each brand new year? Feel free to share your thoughts and your dreams on the comments. I'd love to hear from you!

Happy New Year and may your dreams come true!

From Vision to Reality: The Hands-On Parents while Earning (HOPE) Summit

It started as an idea... an idea that did not leave my mind until all the relevant details were so clear to me, I could almost touch them.

I believe that this idea was God-inspired for it was well-aligned with my vision and mission in life. The idea was planted in my heart and was rooted in my life purpose.

What started as an idea blossomed into a beautiful vision. The details seemed to jump out of my head and heart in the days that followed. 

Excitement filled my days as I started to pursue this idea and worked towards making my vision a reality. But my days were not always sunny. I was not always hopeful and sure. There were days when clouds of doubt slowed me down or hindered me from moving forward. There were also days that were so dark, I felt like I was running blind. 

What helped me carry on was my certainty of WHAT I want to see turned into reality (MY VISION) and WHYs I want it to happen. Because my reasons for working hard to make it happen is very clear to me, I was fueled with passion even in the most trying circumstances. My WHYs for choosing to pursue this vision and dream enabled me to remain committed all throughout. 

I did not stop believing that it's possible to turn my vision into reality even in the midst of adversity. 

And so it happened. Maybe not exactly as I originally imagined it to be... But the event I imagined unfolded before my eyes almost as I envisioned it to be. 

As Arnold Schwarzenegger once said, "If you want to turn a vision into reality, you have to give 100% and never stop believing in your dream."

Photo source here.

My reasons for wanting this event to happen far outweighed the challenges that came my way. Thus, instead of letting them to become obstacles in my path towards my dream, I used these challenges to push me to work harder to turn my vision into reality. My WHYs were burning fiercely inside my heart and my VISION was so clear, attractive and exciting that I couldn't help but be pulled towards it even on days when my eyes seemed covered with dark clouds.

I love this quote from Steve Jobs.

Photo source here.

Today, I'd like to take time to thank every one who helped me turn this idea, this vision into reality. I'd like to thank the companies and brands who chose to believe in me and my advocacy and chose to support parents who want to be hands-on with their children while earning for their family.

First, I'd like to thank my friends from Sun Life Financial, particularly my advisor/agent Jackie who introduced me to the wonderful people of PLDT. Through the help of Jackie and Eden, PLDT home became the venue sponsor of the first ever Hands-On Parents while Earning or H.O.P.E. Summit. I am honored to have these companies as co-presentors of the H.O.P.E. Summit together with my own company Full Life Cube.   

Second, I'd like to thank JV All Events for sponsoring the photo and video coverage of the HOPE Summit's morning session and giving me a discount for the afternoon session's coverage. I first met their owner when I was planning for my second child's first birthday party.

Third, I'd like to thank my friends and fellow members of the groups I am a part of who chose to be part of the HOPE Summit by being speakers and guest panelists: Martine De Luna of Make It Blissful, Ginger Arboleda of Manila Workshops, Jomar Hilario of Ideas That Prosper, Katrina Ambion of Mommyfide PH, Denise Bernardo of Indigobaby, Angeli Del Rosario of The Beadlady and Cherry and Jay Castillo of Foreclosure Philippines. Thank you to all of you for sharing your wisdom and inspiring stories to the parents present at the HOPE Summit.

Thank you also to Indigobaby and The Beadlady for the items you provided for our raffle.

I also thank Chef Jon Chua for agreeing to be one of our guest panelists and Chef Raquel Chua of Mama Chows for sponsoring our morning snack during the event. Mama Chows has been sponsoring the snacks in my previous events but it was my first time to meet the couple behind this company last weekend.

I also thank my friend Angelo Yaneza of Balai Pandesal for choosing to sponsor the afternoon snacks during the HOPE Summit.

I'd like to thank Arts by Ayerie for providing the lovely keychain and bag tag giveaways during our event.

I'd like to thank the following sponsors for the freebies and gift certificates they provided:

• Bert Lozada Swim School
• Gymboree Play and Music Philippines
• Halo Philippines
• Kids Acts Philippines
• Kindermusik with Teacher Suzette

I also want to thank the companies/brands who chose to support the HOPE Summit through their booth sponsorship, giveaways and raffle items. 

• Filway Marketing
• Fluffy Pwets
• GPG Bulilit Bookstore
• Heart Shapers Videos
• Mom and Milly 
• Moringana by Organica Asia
• OMF Literature
• Shepherd's Voice Publications

All these brands helped me make my vision of having a bazaar of products that support hands-on parenting and family relationships become reality.

Aside from having a bazaar of products and services at the summit, I also envisioned the following:

• a room where kids can wait should they need to go with their parents;
• a breastfeeding area;
• and organized activity for the kids while waiting for their parents.

All these were realized and I'd like to thank PLDT for providing us with an extra room and Ask Sheryl Today for facilitating the arts and crafts session for the kids.

I'd like to thank Smart Parenting Online for being my media partner again for my event. I'm very grateful for their support for all my previous events and I'm honored that they choose to promote my events in their website.

Last but not least, I'd like to thank the parents who went out of their way to attend the HOPE Summit. I was moved when I discovered that some of them are not from Metro Manila and that there was even a parent who came all the way from Mindanao to attend the workshop. Hearing their stories during the small group sharing inspired me as well.

I am amazed at how all these people and brands/companies helped me make the Hands-On Parents while Earning Summit possible! Truly, when we are clear on what we want, we attract into our lives the very ingredients that will make our dreams come true and turn our visions into realities.

I believe that that's what happened to me as I organized the HOPE Summit.

Are you also holding on to a vision? That vision could be your future. Hold it close to your heart and let it fuel your every move.

Let me end this post with this quote:

Photo source here.

Photo credit: All of the HOPE Summit photos (except the group photo) used in this post were taken by Christopher Salgado.

Check out Hands-On Parent while Earning on Facebook for more photos during the HOPE Summit.

Mommy TG's Maid Manual: Maid Orientation Materials (Download it for FREE!)

I'm now 39 weeks pregnant and I can feel the heaviness already. I'm so thankful that finally, I was able to finish one of the projects in my to-do list before I give birth -- our very own maid manual!

I first started putting house rules and guidelines for our maids in writing years ago when we had our first baby. It was quite a challenge to find reliable maids/helpers. Maids come and go... very quickly. Some stay only for a few days, weeks or months. We only had a few maids who stayed for around a year. Thus, the need to come up with an orientation checklist for maids arose since I orient newly-hired maids quite often. Having a ready checklist of things to discuss whenever there is a new hire lessened my stress and helped me save time and energy. This could have been influenced by my work background as a human resource professional. ;)

Anyway, so I put together a list of things to discuss to our newly-hired maids. This included house rules, basic duties and guidelines on how to clean rooms in the house, how to wash the eating utensils properly and their daily/weekly schedule. My orientation materials for our maids have evolved over the years as we experienced more maid horror stories and as more kids were added to our family.

Since I'm giving birth to our third child soon, I thought that it would make our lives easier by updating our maid manual/orientation checklist. I want to empower my husband and our maids through this updated manual. I believe that making this manual available to them would help our maids work more independently and help my husband supervise them while I'm on maternity leave. Finishing this project also gives me a sense of peace and fulfillment knowing that these materials would somehow help keep our household in order. I want to have more time taking care of our newborn baby and I don't want to be stressed or bogged down by tasks that I can delegate to my husband or maids through this manual. 

I have included in this manual our employment policies for maids, house rules, dishwashing procedures, cleaning procedures for the different rooms in the house, what to prepare when going out with kids/baby and sample daily/weekly schedule for maids. This maid manual is a perfect complement to my 4-week cycle menu. (You may also download it for FREE if you want. Click here to sign up for it.)

This maid manual/orientation materials had been a big help to me over the years. I'm sharing it here with my blog readers so I can help busy moms like me better manage their households.

I know that as a family gets bigger, the need to be more organized becomes more crucial in successfully managing our almost endless tasks, especially for busy mompreneurs and homeschooling moms like me. And with the addition of a new baby soon, I will be busy with breastfeeding duties as well.

I hope that this manual would bless you and your family as you use it. Feel free to use it as is or to modify it to suit your unique needs/family situation.

5 Tips to Help Us Achieve Our Goals

Here's another article I wrote for POC last year (tweaked a sentence to fit the blog) that can help many who are currently setting goals for the New Year or are done with them and needs some help in ensuring that their goals are accomplished.  (The link to the published article is currently not working.)

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How are you doing in meeting your goals?  Or should I ask you if you already set goals for the year?  If you haven’t started, you may find this previous blog post I wrote useful. 

Many people set goals at the start of the year; but not so many keep up their enthusiasm and commitment in pursuing these goals.  Thus, many end up not accomplishing what they said they will do or achieve come year end.  How can we ensure that we achieve the goals we have set this year?  Here are five tips.

1.  Write them down. It sounds simple but the positive effects are big.  Writing them down is the first big step to achieving your goal.  When you write down your goals, somehow you are expressing your commitment to make them happen because you do something to help you remember what you aim for.  Sometimes, we can get too busy that we forget that we actually set goals for the year.  Having a list to go back to for reference would be very helpful when we are in the thick of things and we want to make sure that we are heading in our desired destination.  And that is to reach or achieve our goals.

2.  Have a visual reminder of your goals.  So you’ve listed your goals.  But where did you put your list?  We need to remind ourselves of what we have listed and committed to achieve this year. Thus, we need to have visual reminders.  One way is to put your list of goals in a place where you will always see it like in your wallet, in one of the walls of your bedroom, in your refrigerator, message board or bathroom mirror.  Ask yourself: “Where do I usually go or look that if I put my list there, I will surely read it?”  You can also make a collage of pictures that represent or remind you of your goals.  For example, your goal is to save money so you can buy a new computer.  You can remind and motivate yourself to save by looking at that item that you want to purchase with your savings.  Or if your goal is to lose weight so you can wear your pre-pregnancy clothes again, you can include in your collage a picture of you wearing one of the clothes you want to wear again.  Another way to remind yourself of your goal to fit into your old clothes is to bring out of your closet one of those clothes and hang it in your closet door.  That way, you will be reminded of your goal every morning or every time you get something from your closet.

3.  Set up systems.  Study your goals and think of ways by which you can set up systems to make it easier for you to achieve your goals.  For example, if your goal is to slowly set up an emergency fund and you want to do this by saving P500 or P1,000 every pay day, then check if you can create a system such that you can deposit money automatically in another account.  My husband and I chose to do this through BPI’s autosave program called BPI Direct Save Up when we decided to start building our emergency fund.  Part of his salary goes straight to his other BPI savings account every pay day so that we are able to save automatically. You can also do the same in paying your bills.  Many banks and utility companies now provide that service if you want your bills to be paid automatically.  That is, if your goal is to pay your bills on time, especially your credit card to avoid late charges or finance charges.  This strategy of setting up a system can help us not only in saving money, investing or paying bills.  You can apply this principle, too, in tithing.  When I was still single, I decided to issue post-dated checks for my tithes at the beginning of every year.  That way, I ensure that I don’t forget to give back to God a portion of my income.  It also helps me stick to my commitment to give a specific amount all year round because I have made the decision to offer that amount at the start of the year.  It saves me from the temptation of lessening my tithe or being unfaithful in giving my tithe during times of financial difficulty.

4.  Schedule progress reviews.  We need to pause regularly to see if we are heading where we want to go.  If we don’t take time to evaluate our past actions, we wouldn’t know how much progress we have made or if we made progress at all.  That is why it is helpful to break down and translate our big goals like our goals for the year into quarterly or weekly goals.  Our successes in achieving our weekly and quarterly goals are indicators if we will be successful in achieving our annual goals.  Likewise, our failure in accomplishing our weekly and quarterly goals tells us that if we don’t do what we committed to do at the start of the year weekly or quarterly, we will fail to accomplish our goals for the year.  For example, your goal for the year is to invest at least P20,000 in stocks.  Then, you can check every quarter if you were able to invest at least P5,000 in stocks.  The same principle applies when for example you want to earn an extra income of P2,500 per month.  You need to check on the indicators.  Like did you earn extra in the past weeks? What do you need to do so you can achieve your weekly goal that will bring you closer to achieving your monthly goal and your yearly goal eventually?

5.  Make yourself accountable to someone.  When you make yourself accountable to someone, you get someone as witness in your adventure.  That’s why sharing your goals with someone or a group of people can increase your commitment in accomplishing your goal.  They can help remind you of what you have set at the beginning of the year.  Moreover, you become conscious that there are people watching you whether you can reach our goal or not.  Because a lot of times, when no one is watching or no one knows of a specific goal you have set, you can be easily tempted to give up when working hard to achieve it becomes difficult.  For example, your goal is to drink at least eight glasses of water each day.  It would be a big help to you if you’ll share it with your spouse so he can remind you or check on you every now and then if you’ve been hitting your goal.  Or if you want to save on your electricity bill by watching less tv.  Share it with the other members of your household.  Help them help you stick to your commitment and achieve your goal.

Choose one or choose all of these tips so you can step closer and closer to your desired destination.  Keep on keeping on!

SMART Goals for SMART Moms

Reposting an article I wrote last year for POC which I think would be of benefit to many at the start of this new year.  (The link is currently not working.)  Tweaked it a bit to update the article.

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It's already the middle of the first month of the new year.  Have you spent it wisely by looking back on the past year and planning for improvements this year?  Many people set new goals at the start of the new year – be they for the quarter, semester or the entire year.  I also have this habit of setting yearly goals so as to improve myself and the quality of my life and that of my family.  I set spiritual, emotional, health and financial goals for the year and I schedule quarterly reviews to check my progress.  I do this after reviewing how well I have achieved my goals in the past year.  In order for us to plan where to go next, we first need to know where we have been and where we are right now.  Once we know where we want to go, we can plan how we’re going there.

Let me share some reminders for all of us about goal setting whether we have already set our goals for the year or we’re still planning to do so.  Most of us have probably heard this before but it’s good to be reminded now at the start of the year so we can make sure that the goals we set are effective.  So for our goals to be effective and to ensure our success in achieving them, let’s make sure that they are SMART.

Specific – We need to be as specific as possible.  When our goals are clear to us, we can specify what we want to happen.  That increases the possibility of us achieving our goals.  What we can clearly see in our minds will most likely be translated into reality. 

Measurable – We wouldn’t know if we have achieved something if we have no means of measuring it.  We must find ways to measure, quantify or find indicators for our success in the goals that we set.

Attainable – One reason why we need to review our past experiences is for us to set realistic goals for the future.  Setting goals that are too far off or those which are impossible for us to achieve will simply frustrate us.  Looking at our past experience enables us to calibrate our goals such that they become attainable.

Relevant – Our goals will never move or excite us if they are not relevant to us.  They must be something we need or strongly desire.  Otherwise, they will remain in our minds or on paper.

Time-bound – We need to set deadlines or timeframes for our goals.  Do we want to achieve this goal within the first quarter?  Or is it something we plan to achieve by yearend?  When are we going to measure our progress and decide whether we have been successful or not?

Having said all these, let me share some examples of SMART goals smart moms can aim to achieve this year.

 Spiritual Goals

1.    Spend 20 minutes each day to read the Bible and meditate on the readings.

2.    Go to confession once a month.

3.    Go to church as a family every Sunday.

4.    Attend at least one retreat or recollection within the year.

 

Family Goals

1.    Read at least two books each day to your child.

2.    Eat dinner as a family at least 4 times a week.

3.    Go on family trips at least once a quarter.

4.    Have a weekly dialogue with your spouse.

Health Goals

1.    Drink 8 glasses of water each day.

2.    Exercise 3 times a week – Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

3.    Spend 30 minutes of “me time” each day.

4.    Limit pork and beef consumption to once a week.

Finance Goals

1.    Earn at least P2,500 per month from part-time work or business.

2.    Save P500 every pay day to start building your emergency fund.

3.    Invest P5,000 every quarter in stocks.

4.    Lower your electric bill by 10% by the end of the first quarter and maintain that level throughout the rest of the year.

These are just examples.  You can choose to make them your goals for the year.  You can slightly modify or customize them to make them relevant to your situation.  Or you may want to craft your own SMART goals entirely.

Tips on How to Improve Family Relations and Family Time and How to Ensure Family Times Happen

I first wrote this post in my Multiply blog in 2009.  I simply made a list of things that would be helpful in improving family relationships and in ensuring that families have ample family times to make their family strong.  I've decided to repost this list and expound on them a bit here in my new Mommy blog since it's the beginning of another year and these tried and tested tips could make a big difference in many families.  It's also a reminder to me and my husband of what we need to do to make our family stronger.

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Family members are getting busier and busier by the hour. So I made another list for our family to help us build strong family relationships and to help us achieve our goals as a family. You might want to adapt some of them if you think they would help your family also.

1. Make a family calendar of activities for the year. - I strongly believe that unless you calendar it, it would be difficult to make it happen.  Families are busier these days.  We can easily forget what we need to do or accomplish when we are thinking of so many things. It would be best to mark your calendars so that everyone in the family would be reminded.

2. Protect it from being crowded or bumped off by other activities. - I learned from Stephen Covey about scheduling our BIG ROCKS first.  These are the most important things and activities in your life and most of the time these involve the most significant people in your life as well.  So, I suggest that we all take stock of WHO are the most important people in ur lives and COMMIT to make time for them and plan meaningful activities with them.  In the many years that I had been conducting trainings and workshops, most of the time I hear people tell me that their families are their priorities.  It is sad though that a lot of them also admit (with great sadness and disappointment) that they are not able to prioritize them or spend enough quality time with them. Let's not make this mistake this year! :)

Photo source here.

3. Plan tasks and schedules in advance. - One of my strategies in not being overwhelmed with too many things to be finished is to work on my tasks bit by bit over a period.  That's what I want to recommend to all of you. Break down your big tasks or projects into phases and smaller tasks so that you will not feel overwhelmed in tackling them and to avoid cramming or panic when the deadline is fast approaching.

4. Remind each other. - Reminding each other would be easier if ALL family members would take note and commit to remember their family activities.  Having a family calendar also helps a lot. In this time and age of various gadgets, this should be much easier.  Let's harness the benefits that these gadgets bring into our lives by using them to build our relationships instead of destroying them.

5. Make a family countdown to big family events. - We make a big fuss about Chistmas and New Year and we usually have countdowns to these big events.  Why not do the same to our family activities? Don't we always hear people say that everyday should be Christmas day?  Let's do our share in making everyday just like Christmas day by giving love to our family members and making a big fuss as well on our family get-togethers!  Countdowns make people more excited about upcoming events.  They also remind us of what we need to do in preparation for these events.

6. Involve everyone as much as possible in the planning and preparation. - Let's admit it, most of the time, it is us, Moms, who take the lead in planning our family activities.  But let's not get tired of involving our husbands and kids.  We are not superwomen.  We are part of a team.  That team is our family.  Let's play as a team and pass the ball to our teammates. 

7. Book in advance (i.e. plane tickets, hotel reservations, movie or concert tickets, theater passes, etc.) - This strategy will save you a lot of money and time.  It will also help you seal your commitment to spend time with the most important people in your life.

8. Schedule family meetings. - Companies hold meetings.  Organizations hold meetings. Church groups hold meetings.  Why not hold family meetings as well?  A lot of times, concerns and family issues are prevented from becoming big problems by simply holding regular family meetings; for just like in other groups, communication is essential in keeping families together and united. So, don't wait for problems to happen!  Prevent problems from happening by meeting regularly as a family.

9. Plan goals for the year and per quarter. - I am such a planner! I love to plan.  I love to plan ahead. One of the reasons I love planning is that it helps me achieve more of my goals and dreams.  If having a happy family and stronger family relationships is one of your dreams and goals this year, I suggest that you take time to plan for them.  Goals and dreams don't just happen.  We need to work on them and in order for us to work smarter in achieving them, we need to take time to plan our actions and activities.

10. Schedule quarterly and annual reviews. - One of the most helpful ways to ensure that goals and dreams come true or are reached is by regularly checking our progress (or lack).  Just like what we are doing at the start of each year, we need to pause and check if we are moving closer to our desired destination.

11.  Include a lot of fun activities in the family calendar.  - They say that "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."  I say, "All business and no fun, makes Mom/Dad a dull wife/husband."  Let's make a list of things we love to do on our own and compare these with what our other family members like doing. It would be good to schedule fun activities every now and then that each family member would love to do with the rest of the family.  It doesn't have to be something that everyone wants to do all the time.  I suggest that the other family members try to indulge their other family members by doing something that they do not necessarily like doing but would like to try because of their love and commitment to their other family members.

12.  Make it a habit to pray for family goals and concerns. - Let's commit to the Lord all our plans and submit them to Him. We can make plans but let's be flexible enough to give God room to change our plans, trusting that He knows best.

There you have it!  12 Tips that you can start employing as early as today.  Choose which ones would be most helpful to you and your family and let me know how these things make a difference in your family life and relationships.

Cheers to a year filled with love and happy memories!