Saturday, July 19, 2014

It’s not about me… It’s about the message God has entrusted to me.

I have perfectionist tendencies. I like being able to plan well and ahead for projects that I handle. I like the feeling of being in control of things. I want to make sure that whatever I choose to embark on would be successful.
But God has many times called me to do things I felt I wasn’t ready for. I felt unprepared and unsure during those times. It was not surprising that I found myself stumbling along the way. Generally though, I was pretty impressed with the results. Of course, I knew very well that the good results were not really because of me. I knew right from the start that if it were all up to me and my capability, the results would be different. 

I’m at a time in my life once more when I feel unprepared. I also feel unworthy 
God has called me to write a book about breastfeeding. I was able to complete it and launch the print book successfully by the grace of God. Now, He has called me to work on the eBook version.  
So, I started planning. Then, I got pregnant and I was forced to be on bed rest by my frequent vomiting. I thought of hiring assistants, people who can help me do the legwork so I wouldn’t be stressed too much. The project is almost done; but we encountered glitches along the way and somehow, I was stressed at those developments. I thought that the conversion of the print book into eBook is the hard part. I discovered that marketing and promoting it entails a lot of hard work as well. This realization kept me awake in the past nights. I felt overwhelmed with the amount of work (that I read in the internet) I needed to do to market and promote my book in preparation for its release in Amazon.  I felt that there isn’t enough time to do those things. I felt that I have very limited budget at this time to spend on marketing and promotion. Moreover, when I checked the category and subcategories where I plan to include my book, I discovered that most books published by Amazon in those categories were authored by doctors or medical practitioners. Thus, I felt unworthy. I felt the burning question creep into my mind once more: Who am I to write a book on breastfeeding? 

Then, God inspired me to reread a book that inspired me to persist while I was writing my breastfeeding book last year. Let me quote some lines that God used this afternoon to speak courage into my heart. 


“You don’t have to be ready. Conditions don’t have to be perfect. Because it’s not about you. It’s about God fulfilling his purposes through you, and he has always been able to make that happen in spite of our humanity and the fallen world around us.”

                                                            - Holley Gerth, You're Made for a God-Sized Dream
It struck me.
It's really not about me... It's about the message God has entrusted to me.
If I'm certain that it's God's Will that I publish this book and spread God's message, what's keeping me from doing the next steps? In this case, releasing it worldwide through Amazon's platform so that more people would have access to it.
God has given me enough resources and energy to get to this point. It's time to launch once more into the deep.
If I let my pride, fear and hesitations hinder me, I would deprive myself of the privilege to be God's vessel of wisdom and love to more people. For truly, whatever wisdom and insights I have shared in my book are not mine to claim. They were inspired by God. It was God Himself who revealed those thoughts to me and I am but His scribe.
Do you also feel called to launch a book, a business or a project? Do you feel that your circumstances are far from ideal or at least supportive? Do you feel unprepared and unworthy?
Here are two more important questions you need to answer. 
Is God calling you to embark on this?
Do you know that the success of this venture is not solely dependent on you?
God reminded me of something very important today. I only need to make myself available for Him and to offer Him my best. I don't need to do EVERYTHING!
The truth is, I can choose to delay things so I can plan and prepare well-enough to my liking. That would make me feel confident. But that would not guarantee my success still. Because doing so would mean relying more on my own capacity, instead of relying on God's infinite wisdom and power.
It's alright to plan and prepare. But when we know in our hearts that God is already calling us to act, then, we should obey Him.
Today, God wants me to plan for what I can realistically do myself and with the help of some people, and to entrust the results to Him. For if this book and this message means a lot to me, they mean so much more to God. 

Let me end with a quote from Isaiah 55:11, "So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."

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